


Muted

by Vozana666



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, alternative lifestyle, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-03-17 22:45:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 21
Words: 27,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3546530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vozana666/pseuds/Vozana666
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel Novak has been a mute for five years ever since and incident that involved his older brother Lucifer Novak. He has always been the freak since then, and being enrolled into his new high school proves that. The only person who shows that he isn't a freak is Dean Winchester. </p><p>Graphic depiction of violence in first chapter. </p><p>COMPLETED.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

MUTED

 

 

1

 

 

 

Castiel Novak had been five years old when his twelve year old brother had started, playfully, holding a knife to his neck. He’d be asked to do things; do Lucifer’s homework, make his bed, make him a sandwich, get him a juice box.

 

When Castiel was seven, the knife would be held against his neck and he’d be asked to take out the trash, clean the car, cook dinner and hang out the washing.

 

When he was nine and his brother was sixteen, he was asked to cover for Lucifer as he went out with a few of his friends and got mindlessly drunk. Castiel had failed to keep their mother off his brother’s tracks and that night, while Lucifer had been drunk to the point where he shouldn’t have been able to walk, Lucifer slit his throat.

 

Not deep enough to kill him, but deep enough to ruin his vocal chords.

 

He was mute.

 

Lucifer was sent somewhere, Castiel never knew, but after doing research at school he was sure his brother was either in jail or in a mental asylum. It had broken Castiel’s heart, seeing in pictures where his brother could possibly be; but he knew it was for his own safety.

 

Castiel had always had trouble sleeping at night due to the memories of waking up to find his brother on top of him, holding a knife to his neck, his alcoholic breath blowing into his face and into his nostrils, making him drunk just from the fumes. He remembered trying to scream, Lucifer jumping out the window and running, him running into his mother's bedroom and the call to the hospital.

 

He remembered the police coming into his hospital room and asking him for a re-telling of the situation, but not being able to talk.

 

He remembered his brother being found a month later and him being taken to court where his only evidence was the stitches on his neck, which now left horrible, ugly scars.

 

Lucifer had gone to wherever he’d been sentenced to and...

 

Castiel was getting ready for his first day at his new high school.

 

His old high school had not so much been a high school, but more of a place for mentally disturbed children to go to; the second closest thing to going to a mental institution and possibly seeing his brother again for the first time in five years. But he’d been declared normal, after he’d shown traits of being mentally disturbed by the situation that had occurred many years ago. So now, he had been enrolled in a normal high school.

 

He sighed deeply, tried to groan, but all that came out was a weird choking noise, like food had gone down his air tube and not his food one. He wrapped his favourite scarf around his neck, despite the unbearably hot heat. It covered up the scars that Lucifer had left him with. It could make him look a little bit more normal.

 

“Castiel, are you ready for school?” he heard his mother call out from upstairs. Castiel closed his eyes and breathed in before turning around, picking up his bag, and making his way out of his bedroom door and down the stairs.

 

His mother held his lunch in a paper brown bag, rolled up at the top. Castiel tried to resist the urge to roll his eyes. His mother had never done this for him, the mental schools food in the cafeteria had been free, after some kid freaked out about the milkshakes being five dollars after the kid had only three dollars to spend.

 

He wished someone at his new high school would have a massive freak out about the price of food. Then he wouldn’t have to deal with the crappy sandwiches his mother made.

 

His mother had never really been a mother, well. She wasn’t born to be the perfect mother. She was mainly overly invested in her business; a publishing branch. Everything else was considered unimportant.

 

His father had run off when Castiel was born.

 

But before him, you had Lucifer, Michael and Gabriel. He was the youngest.

 

“I hope you have a good day honey,” she said in a sickly sweet voice, kissing him lightly on the cheek. She was wearing a white business suit, wearing a pearl necklace around her flawless neck and a gold and diamond ring. Her hair was in a professional looking bun and she had her most professional looking stilettos on.

 

Castiel would rather be poor and have a decent mother than be rich and have a mother who used her children as an accessory.

 

 _I will_ , Castiel signed with his hands. His mother simply nodded; despite the fact that Castiel had been signing everything with his hands for the last five years, she still hadn’t bothered to learn. Michael and Gabriel, however, were fluent in sign language just like Castiel was. He was able to have private conversations right in front of their mother for hours and hours, and lie to her about the meanings of their handmade words. It was funny to say the least.

 

He walked out the front door, where Michael was sitting in his car, Gabriel sitting next to him in the front seat; they both looked excited, while Castiel was freaking out. He walked towards the car and got into the back seat, throwing his bag in there in front of him before he got in. The car was playing some hippie rock song that Castiel had never heard. Castiel was more into classical music. It helped him breathe.

 

“You excited for your first day buddy?” Gabriel asked, “Of normal school?”

 

Michael punched Gabriel in the arm, making the boy curse aloud. But Castiel preferred that Gabriel didn’t sugar coat that Castiel had gone to a mental school. He made it out to be funny, which Castiel felt was better than pretending it had never happened. He also made jokes about Castiel’s throat being slit, which made the situation also easier to deal with.

 

Michael, he was protective and a little stiff when it came to humour, like their mother. But he still loved him.

 

“Are you ready for your first day of your _new high school_ , Castiel,” Michael asked, a supportive smile on his face.

 

 _Yes, just dying slowly here_ , Castiel signed.

 

The brothers laughed and slowly, Michael pulled out of the drive way.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

MUTED

 

 

2

 

 

 

 

He was late for class.

 

It was his first day and he was late for his first class and he’d been late for roll call. Today was not a good day.

 

He rushed towards the English rooms and hoped that he had the right room, as he knocked on light blue, terribly painted, wooden door. The door was opened and he walked inside the room, his teacher was standing at the front of the classroom, close to where the door was sitting, looking at him suspiciously.

 

“Name?” the teacher asked, sounding unimpressed.

 

Castiel went to hand him a note, but he just shook his head, “I said, name. Not note; so give me your name.”

 

Castiel bit his lip and lifted up the note but the man persisted to shake his head.

 

“Son,” he said, his voice getting angrier and angrier, “I am not in the mood for this today. Yesterday, our football team lost-.”

 

Castiel rushed over to the whiteboard and wrote his name down the bottom and whatever the note from his mother said. There were several more in his lunch bag, waiting to be used on his other teachers.

 

“Oi!”

 

_My name is Castiel Novak; I am mute and will talk in sign language._

 

Understanding dawned on his English teachers face, “ohh...why didn’t you say so, son?”

 

Castiel resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

 

“Your seat is over there, next to James Matthews and Dean Winchester.”

 

Castiel nodded and made his way to the desk where the teacher had pointed. On the way members of the class continued to give him weird looks; already he was known as the freak and he’d only been here for a few seconds. Mental mute was whispered around the room. Oh how he wished he could tell them otherwise in a way they could understand; at least not without getting back to the front of the room and writing it on the white board.

 

He sat down between the two boys. One boy had earphones in his ears and was drumming lightly on his English textbook, not taking notice of the blatant glares the English teacher was giving him. On the other side, the other boy was looking at him pointedly, almost rudely.

 

“Hey,” Dean said, with a small wave.

 

Castiel waved back.

 

“My name is Dean Winchester,” he said, holding out his hand for Castiel to shake. Castiel shook it, remembering what his mother said about how unappealing floppy fish handshakes are.

 

 

“So,” Dean smiled, “I hope it isn’t too personal a question, but, is it mental or physical?” he asked. Castiel frowned slightly, but persisted to get out his books and write it on the piece of paper.

 

_Physical_

 

Dean gave him an odd look, but then shrugged it off, “the reason I asked is because my brother is taking psychology here. He would have found it interesting to meet someone who was mentally mute.”

 

Castiel nodded, but didn’t know how he felt, being thought of like a potential experiment. 

 

“Have you got any friends here?” Dean asked, “or are you new to the school as well; I don’t believe I’ve seen you around before.”

 

Castiel shrugged and wrote that he was new to the school. Dean nodded and went back to looking towards the front of the class as the teacher began writing things down. Dean looked at James Matthews and rolled his eyes before reaching over and pulling out the guys earphones.

 

“Oi, mate-.”

 

“Shut your Aussie talk and pay attention,” Dean muttered, “Really? Do you want to do remedial English again?”

 

James shook his head, sighed and went back to looking at the board. He looked at Castiel from the corner of his eye, who was signing to Dean to see if he understood sign language at all. Dean shook his head, saying he didn’t know sign language and James continued to look at him weirdly until he completely turned towards him, “are you deaf?” he asked.

 

Castiel shook his head wearily and pointed towards the front of the class, where his name and issue was still on the board for everyone to see.

 

“Mute?” he asked, “What’s that?”

 

Castiel was already exhausted.

 

“It’s when you can’t talk,” Dean muttered, trying to avoid getting into trouble for talking when he wasn’t supposed to be.

 

“Radical,” he said slowly, “now you can get out of public speaking.”

 

Huh. That was true.

 

Castiel continued to ignore the quiet conversation that happened between Dean and James, which was slowly turning into some quiet debate. He focused on the board and got his book when they were all asked to grab one from the front of the class. Dean only got up after he noticed that Castiel had gotten up.

 

The book was To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee; one of Castiel’s favourites.

 

“To Kill a Mockingbird, again,” Dean muttered while walking back to his seat, “we read this last year...I swear, the guy isn’t even trying anymore.”

 

Castiel frowned, _this is the second time you’ve had this teacher?_ He asked, writing down his question on a piece of paper and shoving it Dean’s way.

 

“Third,” Dean answered, “he’s trying to recruit me onto the school’s football team and he thinks if he keeps giving me As for doing shit all, I’ll agree to being on the team.”

 

Castiel didn’t know what to say to that, so when the piece of paper was returned to him, he didn’t write anything more to Dean Winchester.

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

Castiel was sitting by himself, on the ground, near the trash cans in the cafeteria. He had nowhere to go; he couldn’t find Michael or Gabriel anywhere; so he sat alone.

 

“There you are!”

 

Castiel looked up abruptly to see Dean Winchester rushing towards him, with no food tray or any food visible on his person. He was smiling down at him softly, “want to come sit with me and my friends?” he asked, “you don’t have to sit here all by yourself.”

 

While he wasn’t too sure what his opinion of Dean Winchester was yet, he was happy to get off the dirty cafeteria floor and follow Dean towards his table of friends. When he got there, he was surprised to his brother, Gabriel there.

 

  _Gabe?_ He signed, looking confused.

 

“Hey baby brother,” he said, smiling at him. Castiel had never been so relieved.

 

“You know him?” Dean asked, obviously missing what Gabriel had called him.

 

“Novak isn’t a common last name Dean,” he said, “you should have been able to guess you were sitting next to my brother in English.”

 

“Why did you not tell me when I told you about Castiel then?” he asked, sounding peeved.

 

“It was entertaining to watch your stupidity.”

 

Dean’s face was red, but he sat down, his tray of food sitting in front of him. There was an empty seat next to Dean, which he tapped lightly, indicating that Castiel should sit there. He nodded and sat down hurriedly. His brother was in front of him, smiling, “so, how’s the first day been so far?” he asked.

 

 _I’ve only been to my first class; I can’t really give you a detailed analysis on how horrifying this place is yet_.

 

Gabe laughed and Dean looked at the two of them in confusion.

 

“Translate?” Dean asked.

 

“He said; I’ve only been to my first class; I can’t really give you a detailed analysis on how horrifying this place is yet.”

 

Dean snorted into his mashed potatoes.

 

A younger boy, maybe three years younger than Dean, walked towards them carrying a food tray. He gave Castiel a weird look and changed his course, sitting down next to Gabriel.

 

“Dean, who is this?” he asked, looking at Castiel wearily.

 

“Castiel,” Dean said, “he’s nice, don’t worry.”

 

The boy nodded and went to eat his food.

 

“Castiel, this is Sam, Sam, Castiel,” he said, making hand movements everywhere that made Castiel dizzy almost.

 

Sam held out his hand, shaking Castiel’s hand confidently. Castiel tried, once again, to do the same.

 

“He’s mute,” Dean said, “so be nice to him.”

 

Castiel tried not to roll his eyes. He hated special treatment just because of his ‘disability.’

 

“Is it mental or physical?” Sam asked, eyes sparking with interest.

 

“Physical, leave him alone Sam,” Dean muttered, not looking at Castiel.

 

Castiel just gave Sam a grim look as the boy nodded and went back to eating his food, almost looking disappointed at the fact that Castiel wasn’t mentally mute.

 

 _Sorry I had my throat slit when I was younger_ , Castiel thought to himself, smirking slightly as he opened his brown paper bag and pulled out his recess for the day.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update; I've been doing a lot of school work and I recently just finished another fanfiction, a Drarry one, and that took a bit to finish, but I promise to pay more attention to this fanfiction now. To make up for my absence, here's a 2,000+ word chapter, because I had no idea how to finish it at it's usual word mark.
> 
> Enjoy! Remember to kudos and stuff if you want more.

MUTED

 

 

3

 

 

 

“How was your day?”

 

Castiel shrugged in response to his mother’s repetitive question. It was the same thing she asked every afternoon, even when he was in the special school. It was the only sign that she gave some sort of a damn about her children; that they weren’t just her trophies to make her look like a better person.

 

“That’s it?” his mother asked, “just a shrug?”

 

Castiel was tempted to roll his eyes. What else was he supposed to say? His mother didn’t give up enough of her time to even bother learning how to sign, unlike his brother’s who had been more than happy to learn for his benefit. But his mother wouldn’t understand a thing he said. So shrugging was all he had to show his mother how indifferent he was about his first day of school.

 

“Well...” his mother stood there awkwardly for a second, before shrugging her own shoulders, as if to mock him, “alrighty then,” she said, clapping her hands together awkwardly and placing them in front of her stomach before walking away, probably to make a phone call to some important person. Castiel didn’t know and he really didn’t care.

 

“Hey, Cassie!”

 

Castiel turned around and glared at his brother, Gabriel, as he walked into the kitchen with that cocky strut that he always seemed to do. His whole personality was cocky and obnoxious seeming, but really Gabriel was a nice person...occasionally.

 

 _Why were you so late?_ Castiel signed, trying to make sure he didn’t seemed annoyed.

 

“Well,” Gabriel said, being pushed aside by Michael as he went to the fridge to pour himself a glass of orange juice, “there was a fight between the Stoll brothers, Jim and Nathan,” he said, “and any fight between the Stoll’s is a fight worth watching,” he then glared at Michael, “except Mr Self-Righteous here decided to get a teacher and break the event of the year up.”

 

Michael rolled his eyes, “someone could have seriously gotten hurt, you know what the Stoll brothers are like-.”

 

Gabriel grabbed the cartoon of orange juice and took a swig out of it, “exactly why I wanted to stick around!” he exclaimed, chucking the cartoon of orange juice back into the fridge. Michael got it back out, making sure to close it properly while glaring at Gabriel.

 

“Anyway,” Gabriel said, getting something out of his bag, “I found something in the local cheap bin outside of that old book store you like,” he said to Castiel, throwing him a tan coloured trench coat, “you should wear it, I thought it might make you look even more dull- when you mix it with that weird blank stare thing you do to everyone who annoys you.”

 

Michael made an exclamation of annoyance, telling Gabriel to back off of Castiel and to stop teasing him.

 

“He loves it when I tease him!” Gabriel exclaimed, beginning to shrug his shoulders repetitively, like an upward shimmy, “am I doing it right Cassie?” he asked, shrugging his shoulders, “am I doing the Castiel?”

 

Castiel shrugged.

 

Gabriel beamed.

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

Castiel had no idea what he had expected the next day; but it definitely wasn’t Dean Winchester sitting down next to him purposefully in every class they shared, which was about three classes. English, History and Math; the other three classes he had were electives and Science.

 

It always started off it with Dean saying ‘hey’ and sitting down next to him, pulling out his books. Then he would hold conversations with Castiel that lasted so long that his wrist became sore from writing before the class had even properly started. He liked Dean; he was friendly and funny but not a pushover. He stood up for himself and his beliefs whenever he could; though Castiel tried hard not to bring religion or anything into the conversation, which was quite difficult when it came to History.

 

“Do you really believe in this Jesus guy?” Dean asked, sounding peeved. The teacher was standing at the board, rambling on about how religion had been the cause and the downfall of many of society’s famous happenings.

 

 _Sometimes_ , Castiel wrote, _I feel it’s nice to believe in a higher power. It gives people hope that eventually things will change for the better._

 

Dean sighed, “Let me guess, you have a hardcore Christian parent.”

 

Castiel shrugged and wrote; _yes, my mother, but she’s on the fence about everything but if we say Jesus’ name in vain we get into trouble. It’s like she’s trying to cater for both sides of the religious argument, so if there is no God and Jesus, but if there is, then she is still right._

Dean looked confused, “but, if you don’t show your total utter faith in the religion, wouldn’t that make her wrong by default?”

 

“Mr Winchester.”

 

Dean looked up, the teacher stood at the front of the class, her hands on her hips and her lips pressed together tightly, Dean’s face turned red slightly but he looked up at the teacher confidently and without fear.

 

“Yes Miss Rice?” he asked, his voice wavering only slightly.

 

“Seeing as your conversation seems so important,” she said, “would you like to share it with the class for an open discussion?”

 

Dean shrugged, “not really; the conversation itself defaces your whole opinion on religion,” he said, “and I know how much you love religion and how much is has corrupted majority of today’s society into doing idiotic things.”

 

“But good things as well,” the teacher said tersely.

 

“Of course,” Dean muttered, “can’t forget the limited good things that have happened in the face of religion, for the pure selfish reason that everyone wants to go to heaven when they die.”

 

Castiel was shocked to find that he was agreeing mentally with everything Dean was saying.

 

“People don’t do good things to go to Heaven, Mr Winchester,” the teacher said. Castiel felt that if this were a cartoon, steam would be pouring from her ears; her face would be read and puffed out, a human kettle.

 

“Are you kidding?” Dean asked, standing up and looking at the teacher incredulously, “the whole game of heaven and hell is practically a golf metaphor,” he said, “the one with the least amount of sins wins and they go to heaven while the other goes to hell and gets mocked by the rest of the players that have lost the game.”

 

Miss Rice lost her patience. She stormed towards Dean and grabbed the back of his leather jacket and dragged him out of the classroom, Dean looked startled to say the least as he was pushed out the door with the door slammed in his face. The teacher smirked out the glass window that was in the door and about half the size of it, “also Mr Winchester,” she said, seeming to have calmed down as soon as she had pushed Dean out of the class, “you’re once again not in uniform!”

 

Dean rolled his eyes.

 

She sighed, “Detention at three o’clock with Mr O’Sullivan!”

 

She turned towards the rest of the class, “class dismissed,” she said, looking tired and frustrated, “go to the library and get some studying done; if you leave the school grounds I will be informed of it, I can assure you.”

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

Everyone congratulated Dean on getting everyone out of the class early, but Dean seemed a little irritable about the detention aspect of it all. Castiel walked beside Dean the whole way to the library, while Dean complained about it all and about how much of a bitch Miss Rice was.

 

“She’s pathetic,” Dean said, “She can’t take another person’s opinion simply because she can’t defend her own,” they walked into the library, none of the other students appeared to be there, though, Castiel wasn’t fazed. They sat down at a table in the corner, surrounded by fiction novels. Castiel looked around at them all, seeing if any of them caught his eye.

 

“She’s such a hardcore Christian freak,” he said, “even most Christian’s can see the fault in their religion through-out some aspects of History but she just makes it seem like everything is perfect and the way to be and that God can do no wrong,” Dean muttered, “Naomi Rice is probably the worst teacher I’ve ever had, _ever_.”

 

He got out his books for Math and English and muttered something about how they should be doing homework, Castiel nodded and got out his own books, but he couldn’t help but feel a little sour for not being invited to talk within Dean’s rant.

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

Dean was walking down the stairs towards the school hall when he heard a loud, repetitive banging. It sounded like someone slamming the lockers. He rolled his eyes and rushed over to see what was happening, thinking that someone had been locked out of their locker again, but he was surprised to see, that when he got there, there was a large crowd of boys, most of them from the school’s football team, surrounded in a semi-circle around the front of three lockers. But when Dean looked over the shoulder of one burley football player, he saw that it wasn’t someone stuck with their locker.

 

The captain of the football team, Ashton Moseby, had Castiel pinned against the locker and he was shouting him while repetitively slamming him into the lockers.

 

“Talk faggot!” Ashton Moseby said, slamming Castiel into the locker yet again, “we all know it’s an act you filthy-.”

 

Dean pushed past two of the football players and a boy from his and Castiel’s math class before pushing aside Ashton and grabbing Castiel, making Aston fall to the ground and hit his head on the metal frame of the bubbler and Castiel stand behind him, Dean adopted a protective stance as he watched Ashton slowly get up from the floor, looking pissed.

 

“What the fuck, Winchester?”

 

“Leave him alone,” Dean said gruffly, “he’s not a faking his disability for sympathy Ashton.”

 

Ashton glared at him, “bull shit!”

 

A body flew past Dean’s vision and slammed into Ashton, who stumbled into the lockers, almost looking like he’d caused a small dint in the flimsy metal, “how’s it feel to be slammed against the lockers Moseby?!”

 

Dean looked up and Michael was standing there, looking murderously down at the boy beneath him. It took Ashton a full minute to get back up, looking dizzy and in pain.

 

“Leave my brother alone,” Michael said, grabbing Ashton’s school shirt collar, “you got that?”

 

Ashton nodded, whimpering slightly. Everyone in the school was afraid of Michael. He was big a burley and not afraid to stand up for his two brothers in time of need. He’d been known for being overprotective of people he cared about since their first year of high school. Ashton was shoved against the locker again, the rest of the football team and the other students laughing at him as it happened.

 

Michael grabbed Castiel by the arm of his jacket and pulled him out of the ring, Dean hastily following them as they made their way out of the hallway and out of the school building.

 

“What happened?” Michael asked, looking irritated.

 

Castiel signed something to Michael that Dean couldn’t understand.

 

“He’s a piece of shit,” Michael said, “ignore him.”

 

Dean frowned, “it’s a bit hard to ignore someone when they have you pinned against a locker and are about to punch your face in.”

 

“Well, then, avoid him,” Michael said, continuing to look down at Castiel who looked embarrassedly down at his feet, “look, you shouldn’t be at school.”

 

Castiel signed some more but Michael shook his head.

 

“I’ll write a note and forge mom’s signature,” he said, “but you’re going home.”

 

Castiel sighed and began walking towards the car park, looking even more embarrassed than before; like a little kid really. Michael turned towards Dean, looking like a tired man who’s seen a lot of stuff, “thank you for helping my brother,” he said, “I’m sure he appreciates it.”

 

Dean simply nodded and said, “No problem,” as he watched Michael turn around and head towards his car, where Castiel was already standing against the passenger side door, waiting to be taken home.


	4. Chapter 4

MUTED

 

 

4

 

 

 

It was a week before Michael allowed Castiel to go back to school. Though, Castiel had wanted to return the day after the incident and thank Dean for basically saving him, Michael had said no. He had spent days on the couch at home, while his mother was at work and his two brothers were at school. He had been so bored.

 

But now, he was back, walking through the halls and it was like nothing had even happened, minus the fact that the football team gave him weary glances as he walked past their locker section. When Ashton turned around, he had a broken nose, stitches and tape visibly trying to hold everything together. Castiel couldn’t help but smirk at that; he wondered which of his brother’s had done it.

 

His first class was Science, which he hated because he just wanted to thank Dean for what he had done. He would have to save his thankfulness for later, in English.

 

 

(***)

 

 

Dean hadn’t been around for recess, and that worried Castiel slightly, but he was sure the boy would turn up in English; he never skipped classes and he had already been told by some girl in Dean’s class, Ashley that Dean was at school today. As he headed towards his English class, he eyed the line from the door and found Dean in the middle of it. He walked towards him and stood next to him, ignoring everyone’s conversation around him. He got out a slip of paper and was about to write something, using the palm of his left hand as a table, but Dean put his hand on top of the note, therefore on top of Castiel hand and shook his head, “later,” he whispered, “when we’re in class.”

 

Castiel nodded and placed the unwritten on note in his pocket, ready for later use.

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

When the class had finally settled and the teacher began to talk, Dean writing down everything on the board, Castiel noticed bruises on Dean’s knuckle. He got out his slip of paper again and quickly wrote out the question he was dying to ask and pushed it over to Dean’s desk.

 

_What happened to your hand?_

 

Dean sighed and turned to look at Castiel with a sombre look, “I punched Ashton in the face after what he did to you. I broke his nose. I was in the principal’s office at recess and they were deciding what to do with me.”

 

Castiel was shocked. He had instantly thought the broken nose had been done by one of his brothers. Not Dean.

 

He grabbed the note back and continued to write more.

 

_Why did you do it?_

Dean rolled his eyes, “I already told you. I didn’t like what they did to you. It was unfair in so many ways.”

 

_What’s going to happen to you?_

Dean smiled, “nothing, Ashton, for some weird reason, told the principal I’d never punched him; that he’d tripped down the stairs and face planted. I have a feeling your brother, Michael, had something to do with it.”

 

Castiel nodded slowly.

 

_Thank you_

 

Dean gave him a half-hearted, bitter smile, “any time.”

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

When his mother came home that afternoon she was happy to hear that Castiel had decided to go back to school. Michael had told nothing about the events in which had made Michael force Castiel to stay home for a week, his mother had just assumed that the pressures of a normal school environment were weighing heavily on his shoulders and had never questioned if it was anything else. Castiel didn’t know whether it made it easier or harder, having a mother that just assumed everything and never asked questions because she thought she was right all the time.

 

“Do you have any homework to catch up on?” his mother asked him kindly. He nodded.

 

She smiled softly, “you can have dinner up in your room then, so you can get it done by whatever date it is due.”

 

Castiel nodded, relieved for an excuse to not sit with the family for dinner that night. Dinner times had been tense, overly so, and it worried Castiel. He didn’t know whether it was because of what had happened at school, what his mother believed about him not going to school, or because of something else. But he sure wanted to find out. He didn’t really plan on going up to his room and studying; he planned on sitting at the top of the stairs and eavesdropping on the conversation. He needed to know what was going on and he knew that was the only way he was going to find out.

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

Castiel sat at the top of the stairs; he’d already taken his dinner to his room and left it there, where it was probably now lukewarm seeing as he had been served before everyone else. He heard the clinking of knives and forks against each other and the china plates, but no conversation.

 

It took a while, but eventually the sound of someone clearing their throat reached Castiel’s ears, and Gabriel’s voice followed.

 

“So, when are you going to tell him?” Gabriel asked.

 

“Tell who what honey?” his mother asked in that fake sickly sweet voice of hers. It was like she was afraid she was constantly being watched by cameras, that if she dropped her facade for one moment, the whole world would know how she used her children as trophies and didn’t actually love them like a decent mother would.

 

“Castiel,” Michael muttered, “about Lucifer breaking out-.”

 

“Can we not discuss this now?” his mother’s tone turned cold just as the blood rushing through Castiel’s veins seemed to, “this is not appropriate dinner time conversation.”

 

“Castiel isn’t here.”

 

“That’s not the point,” their mother snapped in a hushed voice, “I don’t really want to talk about my lunatic of a son, while eating my dinner.”

 

There was a brief silence, where all Castiel heard was the beating of his own heart in his ears, it almost blocked out the next thing someone at the table said, “I guess this is what you get for naming your son Lucifer.”

 

He heard Gabriel snort aloud at Michael’s comment, and he could picture the frown his mother had on his face, Castiel’s eyes began to form tears, he was scared; petrified even. What if Lucifer came back and got him again? Finished off the job he’d attempted so many years ago?

 

“I’m not hungry anymore,” he heard his mother say, the legs of her chair scraping against the tiled floor. Castiel got up quickly, trying not to make any noise as he rushed to his room. He closed the door softly, hoping that his mother hadn’t heard. He heard hushed voices and then eventually footsteps coming up the stairs, but there was nothing more than that. His mother hadn’t heard him, but he had heard all.

 

He turned back towards his bed and lay down on it.

 

His food remained on his desk, going cold, and his homework remained unfinished.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

MUTED

 

 

5

 

 

 

Castiel had tried to act normal for the last few weeks, but every time he turned a corner he expected Lucifer to be there, waiting for him, knife ready, aimed perfectly at his throat. Also when he was walking he would look behind him every few seconds, just to make sure he wouldn’t sneak up from behind and get him. But Lucifer was a no show.

 

Castiel had made a habit of sleeping with the door open just in case Lucifer climbed in through the window and Castiel needed to make a quick escape. He’d lately considered even hiding his own knife underneath a pillow, just in case.

 

If Michael and Gabriel noticed how on edge Castiel was, they didn’t ask. But someone who did notice and ask was Dean.

 

“You okay Cas?” he asked on day over lunch. Gabriel was over in the middle of the cafeteria, wooing a couple of cheerleaders. Michael was with the chess club trying to form strategies for the upcoming chess tournament.

 

Castiel shrugged. He felt too lazy to bend down and get a note of paper from his bag and to get a pen out as well. He was shocked to find that Dean had one already ready.

 

“I’ve decided to carry around a piece of spare paper and a pen around at all times,” Dean said, “just in case.”

 

Castiel gave him a small bitter smile and reached across the hard wood table to get the paper and pen.

 

 _I’ve just been on edge lately_.

 

Dean nodded, “by the way, aren’t you a bit hot in that scarf?” he asked.

 

Castiel bit his lip. He hadn’t told Dean about the incident with his psychologically insane brother and the reason why he wore scarves all the time. Castiel simply shook his head and looked away, not really willing to talk about it. Not here in the cafeteria where anyone could walk past and read the notes. Besides, for such a dark subject, it seemed like the wrong background. It was too light, cheerful and innocent.

 

“How about you come over to mine tonight?” Dean asked, “You can stay over. I have plenty of room in my room for an extra bed.”

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

Gabriel stood at Castiel’s locker, mobile phone held towards his ear. He waited and waited and eventually the tone stopped a voice replaced it.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Mom, it’s me, Gabriel,” he said, “if you actually bothered to check the caller I.D you would know that,” he said, rolling his eyes at Castiel who smiled.

 

 _“Yes yes I know now what do you want?”_ their mother asked impatiently. Castiel hoped she wasn’t in some sort of meeting.

 

Gabriel looked at Castiel expectantly and he began signing what Gabriel should say.

 

“Castiel was wondering...” Gabriel said slowly, trying to catch every movement of Castiel’s hands, “whether he could go over to a friend’s house and spend the night.”

 

Gabriel frowned and covered the phone before asking, “What friend?”

 

Castiel didn’t know whether it was intended to be a joking offensive question or a literal one, but he answered anyway, writing the name down on his arm in pen.

 

“Dean Winchester?”  Gabriel asked, “or Dean Uinchester?”

 

Castiel smacked his arm.

 

Gabriel went back to the phone and listened to his mother’s response.

 

“He’s not that sensitive,” Gabriel said, sounding a little irritated, “besides, I know the guy, he’s really nice. Who? Dean. You know Dean! The Winchester with the kid brother; the one you thought would grow up to be handsome. Yes, the handsome one with the future handsome brother,” Gabriel rolled his eyes again and Castiel made a choked sound of laughter. It was the only sound he could make, and it sounded horrible. He looked around; making sure no one else had heard him. His choked laughter was one of his insecurities.

 

“I’ve been to his house before,” Gabriel said, “Dean’s mother won’t judge him at all. No. She won’t call child protective services on you,” Gabriel sighed and covered the phone again, “all she ever gives a shit about,” he muttered to Castiel, who nodded in agreement.

 

“Look,” Gabriel a pained expression, “if I must, me and Michael will go over with him.”

 

Castiel bit his lip.

 

“Alright, deal,” Gabriel said, “I’ll go with him tonight with Michael and we’ll all stay there. You’re right; it will be a bonding activity.”

 

He hung up, without saying goodbye or I love you, which was quite normal for all of them. He sighed, “sorry lil’ bro,” Gabriel said with a small sigh, “looks like you’re chilling with me and Michael as well tonight.”

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

The big issue was telling Dean that if Castiel came over, he wouldn’t be the only one coming over. But, he knew Gabriel and Dean were good friends, and that would help, but he didn’t know how Dean felt about Michael.

 

He went up to Dean during math anyway and Dean said he was completely fine with it.

 

“You know,” Dean said, they were in the middle of their math class and the teacher was up the front writing algebraic equations on the board, but the teacher wasn’t really strict when it came to talking in the class room, “I used to think Michael had a crush on me.”

 

Castiel’s eyebrows lifted up, probably hiding in his hair line as they did so.

 

“Yeah,” Dean said, “I was about ninety percent sure that he wanted to be inside me because he always looked at me in a weird, sexual type way,” he said, “but like, then a few weeks after I thought I had it all figured out, he had a girlfriend so I guess I read that wrong.”

 

Castiel tried hard not to laugh; he lifted his fist up to his mouth and bit on one of his knuckles, hoping the noise wouldn’t come through.

 

Dean looked at him, happy to make him smile, “I was kidding so don’t tell your brother alright? I just wanted to see you smile.”

 

There was something about the way Dean said that, that made Castiel feel warm and fuzzy inside. Something that slowly crawled up his arms and rushed around his chest, making his heart beat quicker. The feeling rushed through his veins and eventually flowed around his whole body, the feeling intensifying, but not to the point it was uncomfortable.

 

He smiled through-out the rest of the class.

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

 

Through-out the rest of the school day Castiel couldn’t help but feel excited. In Science, he couldn’t seem to concentrate. He didn’t know why but he couldn’t just stop thinking about going over to Dean’s for the night. Castiel wasn’t used to having friends, so he assumed that was what was different. He actually had a friend and he seemed pretty loyal about his friendship towards Castiel.

 

Multiple times the Science teacher snapped at him to pay attention but after a few minutes Castiel would go back and enter his usual stupor.

 

He got marked absent for that class.

 

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

Something that Castiel didn’t know about Dean was that Dean had his own car. It had come as a shock when they had walked out of the school building, and instead of heading towards the bus stop, Dean had taken him into the car park and towards an old Chevrolet Impala 67’, the black beauty shining brightly in the sunlight.

 

“It was my dad’s car,” Dean said, “before he died.”

 

“Nobody wants to hear your sob story Winchester!”

 

Dean and Castiel turned around to see Michael and Gabriel making their way towards them. Dean beamed, “really? That’s how I get most people interested in me.”

 

Castiel felt his face heat up.

 

Gabriel wrapped his arm around Castiel, “well you better tell a better story to keep this guy interested, apparently he was day dreaming in Science all evening.”

 

Castiel gave Gabriel a sign even Dean could understand.

 

“Better make my stories more interesting then,” Dean said with a small laugh. Castiel simply glared at Gabriel, who winked at Castiel when Dean turned his back to get into the driver’s seat of the car. They all slowly got in, Michael being the slowest with his school bag full of text books. But eventually, they were able to leave the school building behind and head off towards Dean’s home.

 

“Where was your brother today?” Michael asked, “Shouldn’t he be in here with us?”

 

“He’s been sick at home since Wednesday,” Dean said, “Cold or flu or something, I don’t know.”

 

“You would actually have to be educated to know, now, wouldn’t you?” Gabriel asked with a laugh.

 

“Don’t be a dick Gabriel,” Dean said, “You know from experience that I will turn this car right back around!” he said, trying to sound as serious as possible, but it only ended up with him laughing anyway.

 

During the rest of the car drive, they exchanged stories of moments in the car, pranks they’d done, multiple other things. Michael sat in the back quietly, trying to look stern but laughing anyway and Castiel smiled in the front seat, hoping that one day all of these wonderful things would have something to do with him, that he would eventually have these types of adventures.


	6. Chapter 6

MUTED

 

 

6

 

 

 

Castiel was relieved when Dean’s mother wasn’t judgemental about his lack of voice. Sam was upstairs in his room reading, but he’d come down and said ‘hi’ for a few minutes, then went back to bed, coughing as he did so.

 

They all sat in the lounge room; Dean and Gabriel were playing some video game, involving race cars. Castiel watched, drifting off occasionally a day dreaming. Whenever he was brought back to reality however, he always forgot what he had been day dreaming about.

 

It was just about dinner time when Gabriel and Michael announced that they needed to get some stuff from their mother’s house. They left; taking Mary’s car after saying multiple times that they would behave on the road and if anything happened they would take full responsibility for it.

 

“I don’t understand,” Dean muttered, “why didn’t you guys take Michael’s car to school today?” he asked.

 

Castiel rolled his eyes and got out his notepad and pen, _Gabriel took it out for a spin and totalled it_. _Mother has sent it in for repairs_.

 

They came back just in time for dinner and the car was in fine condition.

 

Dinner consisted of roast beef and there were eight plates set on the table. He turned to Gabriel and lifted up a brow.

 

“The other two plates are for Charlie and Adam,” Mary said, serving dinner. It looked excellent, steaming hot and welcoming. The last time Castiel had had a home cooked meal like this was when one of his mother’s executives had been over for dinner. That had been about three months ago. Everything was microwave done now, including some of their family meals. Like on the night he’d found out Lucifer was free.

 

“Huh? Who’s Charlie?” Gabriel asked, looking at Dean confusedly.

 

“Mom adopted her,” Dean said with a small shrug, like it happened every day, “she lost her mother and her father and well...she needed a home,” he answered, “she’s been living here for about two months now. Mom loves her.”

 

“She’s helpful around the house,” Mary said, sitting down at her spot at the dinner table, “I can’t say the same about a certain someone...”

 

“Hey!” Dean exclaimed, putting down his knife and fork, “I’m helpful! I’m the comedian of the family; I keep things happy.”

 

Sam laughed from the other end of the table, “That was the best joke you’ve told so far.”

 

Dean glared at him and then turned to his mother, “you should ground him.”

 

“You can’t ground people for telling the truth,” Gabriel said, “that’s like locking someone up in jail when they’re innocent!”

 

While the discussion continued, Castiel’s head moved left and right, almost like he was watching a tennis match. He was so distracted; he poured lukewarm gravy into his lap as he tried to aim for his roast potatoes. He made a shrill squeaking noise, which made everyone stop. He dropped the gravy boat on the table, trying hard not to knock it over the kitchen table and covered his face embarrassment, unsure whether it was from shame of his squeaky noise or because of the mess he had made everywhere.

 

“Oh dear,” Mary said, standing up automatically and grabbing a bunch of napkins. He thrust them into Castiel’s hands and told him to dab the area where the gravy was until it was all gone.

 

“You should go for a shower,” Mary said, “after you finish dinner. Dean will show you where the bathroom is and you can borrow some of his clothes; you look about the same size.”

 

Dean stood up and walked towards Castiel, holding out a hand to help him up from his seat. Castiel could feel his face burning with embarrassment as he latched onto Dean’s hand and let himself be pulled out of his seat and directed toward the bathroom.

 

He was slowly helped up the stairs and he couldn’t help but feel a little pathetic. After spilling gravy it seemed to have rendered him unable to do anything. But despite the embarrassment, he didn’t make any move to stop Dean from dragging him around.

 

“Get in the shower,” Dean says, opening the door to the bathroom, “I’ll go get you some clothes, okay?”

 

Castiel simply nodded, enjoying the coolness of the room against the warmness of his cheeks. He turned to look into the mirror, and his face didn’t expose any of the embarrassment he felt. At least something was going his way.

 

He started to undress, taking off his scarf first. It felt nice to have breathing room around his neck; it felt like the air was licking at that sensitive, scarred piece of skin. He slowly began to peel off his clothes, the skin where the gravy was spilled feeling a little warmer than the rest of his skin as it was exposed to the cool air around him. He got into the shower, happy to realise it was the same as his own.

 

He felt like he could calm down and actually breathe once he got into the shower and turned on the water. He washed his body with just the water and no soap; he didn’t know which soap he was allowed to use and he didn’t want to cause any type of inconvenience.

 

He got out as soon as he felt clean and grabbed a towel to quickly dry himself off, there was a small knock on the door and he heard Dean’s voice, “I’m going to hand you clothing through the door, okay? Knock once if yes, knock twice if no.”

 

Castiel knocked once and unlocked the door, Dean’s hand appeared through it and he handed Castiel a white shirt and a pair of stripy pyjama pants. After that came a pair of red briefs.

 

“They’re new,” Dean muttered, “keep them if you’d like.”

 

Dean closed the door and Castiel quickly put on his clothing, and grabbed all of his old clothing in his arms. He opened the door and smiled at Dean gratefully, but the other boys eyes were wide and looked alarmed.

 

Castiel gave him a questioning look, but then he realised.

 

He hadn’t put his scarf back on.

 

Dean could see the scars.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

MUTED

 

 

7

 

 

 

“So...I have to ask; what’s with the scars?” Dean asked.

 

Dean, Michael and Gabriel were all awake and sitting up in the beanbags in Dean’s room, covered in blankets. Dean stopped the video game they were playing in order to ask the question.

 

Michael and Gabriel looked at one another before looking over at a peacefully sleeping Castiel; who was bundled up in his blankets on the floor.

 

“It’s a really long story,” Michael muttered.

 

“We have all night,” Dean said, “and I’m a good listener.”

 

“You need to keep your mind open and not think that he’s some sort of freak,” Gabriel said, still watching Castiel, making sure he didn’t wake up randomly during the middle of the conversation and hear everything they were saying.

 

“I just saw some pretty heavy looking scars on his neck,” Dean said, “and my opinion of him still hasn’t changed a bit. I’m sure there’s some reason for it and not that he just likes to cut up his own throat from time to time.”

 

Michael nodded, “alright...well...we have this other brother, named Lucifer.”

 

Dean scoffed, “Lucifer? I already don’t like where this is going.”

 

Gabriel smirked, “yeah I know...anyway,” he sighed and shifted in his beanbag, “he wasn’t as sane as we are. He was different, and when Castiel was younger he would always hurt him in some weird and wonderful way – mother didn’t think it was unusual, said it was just child’s play.”

 

“Then one night, when Castiel was about eleven?”

 

“Nine,” Michael corrected him.

 

Gabriel rolled his eyes, “not important, anyway, Lucifer had gone out that night for some party and mother found out, Castiel was supposed to be covering him, saying he was in his room studying or something but when Lucifer found out Castiel had failed, he got a knife from the kitchen when he was drunk stupid and then...” Gabriel mimicked a crude stabbing movement, causing Michael to flinch and glare at his younger brother.

 

“And that’s why he has those horrible scars,” Michael muttered, “and why he’s mute.”

 

Dean nodded slowly and looked over at Castiel who was splayed on his back, snoring softly. He wanted to hug the other boy, tell him that he shouldn’t have to hide his scars; they weren’t something to be embarrassed about.

 

“And now,” Gabriel said, looking at Michael as if for permission. Michael nodded slowly and Gabriel continued, “And now...Lucifer’s broken out of the mental asylum he’s been in for the last five years.”

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

The next day after Gabriel, Michael and Castiel all went home, Dean went to the public library which wasn’t too far from his home. The weather was comfortable warm, so he just wore a loose shirt and a pair of jeans. Once he got in, the librarian gave him the evil eye. Dean guessed he didn’t look much like a reader.

 

He went towards the non-fiction section and went into Languages. There were multiple books on Chinese, Japanese, Italian, German and even Klingon, which didn’t make sense to Dean at all because the show the language came from was fictional. He rolled his eyes and continued forward until he found a bunch of books.

 

_American Sign Language_

_Sign Language for Beginners_

_Language in Symbols (Sign Language)_

_American Sign Language FOR DUMMIES!_

Dean borrowed them all, the heavy texts being held in his arms, he headed over towards the librarians desk where she continued to give him a look of confusion and mistrust.

 

“Need to study American Sign Language?” she asked, “is that the new thing they’re doing in gangs now?”

 

Dean refrained from rolling his eyes, “I’m not in a gang ma’am. I have better dress sense.”

 

She didn’t respond as she took the books from his grasp and went towards her computer.

 

“Name?” she asked.

 

“Dean Winchester.”

 

She typed the name into the computer, but nothing came up.

 

“You need to join the library before you can borrow those books,” she said, “with five dollars you can get your own card and an unlimited borrowing limit.”

 

Dean sighed, dug for his wallet in his pocket and handed over a five dollar bill. She gave him a form to sign and add all his details on and she quickly added him to the libraries member list before scanning the books and handing them to him.

 

“So why are you borrowing sign language books?” she asked.

 

Dean was getting irritable, “that’s none of your business- can I take the books and leave please?”

 

The evil eye returned as she shoved the books at him. He tried to give her his own best evil eye before turning around and exiting the library.

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

By one in the morning, Dean knew most of the main phrases when it came to American Sign Language. He just wasn’t fast with his hand movements like Castiel, Gabriel and Michael were. He wondered how long it had taken them all to learn, and their mother- he assumed their mother had learned how to sign as well. She needed to; her son couldn’t talk, so it was only right that she did.

 

It seemed to be taking forever, and he got a scare at around one thirty in the morning when there was a light knock on his door.

 

“Yeah?” he asked, looking nervously towards the door.

 

The door opened slowly and Sam popped his head into the room, looking at Dean with curiosity, “what are you doing up so late?” he asked, looking at the time on the alarm clock next to Dean’s bed.

 

“Studying,” was all Dean said, looking back down at the book he was reading and trying to bend his fingers the right way to sign _pie_.

 

“You’re studying?” Sam asked, “For what?”

 

Dean rolled his eyes at his brother before closing the book and holding the cover towards Sam for him to see, “sign language,” he said, “I want to learn how to speak to Cas in a way he’s comfortable,” he put the book down, “it must be a pain in the ass writing me notes all the time.”

 

He put the book down on the bed, looked up again only to see Sam smiling at him.

 

“You like him,” Sam said, “don’t you.”

 

It wasn’t a question, so Dean didn’t feel the need to answer.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am amazed by the amount of activity with this fanfiction. It's getting so many hits each chapter and comments and it's amazing and makes me feel really happy because I originally felt this fanfiction was going to be crappy and horrible but you guys seem to love it, so, thank you!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

MUTED

 

 

8

 

 

 

Castiel woke up panting heavily and drenched in his own cold sweat. He looked at the time; it was two in the morning, much to his disappointment. For the last few nights, his usually peaceful nights had been plagued with horrific nightmares; all involving Lucifer, his older brother.

 

It was hard getting back to sleep, because scenes from his dreams seemed to print themselves on the back of his eyelids in the impenetrable darkness. He found himself clutching at his pillow a lot, crying silently in the darkness in his room, he kept seeing things; the silhouette of a tall boy or man, moving slowly towards him, he would screw up his eyes and when he couldn’t stand keeping them shut anymore; open them and nothing would be there.

 

It was one of those types of nights, when he was seeing things that were the worst.

 

He slowly sat up in his bed, now three in the morning, petrified that a hand may reach out, grab him and pull him underneath the bed; he jumped into the middle of the room making sure to leave a decent bit of room between the floor near his bed, and himself. He made his way out into the hallway; he could hear music coming from Gabe’s room; he had insomnia and spent majority of the time awake listening to music and doing his assignments. Michael didn’t mind the music, he’d gotten used to it, and so had Castiel. His mother slept downstairs in the master bedroom- not able to hear it at all.

 

He knocked quietly on Gabe’s door, hoping he would be able to hear it. He would probably wake his mother up if he knocked too loudly and the last thing he wanted was to be sent to his room again when he’d just had the courage to leave it.

 

The door swung open and Gabriel smiled at him, “hey little bro,” he said, “what are you doing awake so early?”

 

Castiel shrugged and signed _I didn’t really sleep so well._

Gabriel smiled softly, “you haven’t been sleeping well at all...do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

 

Castiel wasn’t sure. He would have to admit that he knew about Lucifer being out and he wasn’t ready to admit he’d been eavesdropping that night he had been sent to his room with dinner to finish homework. He was normally a good boy, and he didn’t know whether that was because he was trying to make up to his mother the fact that he wasn’t normal, but he didn’t want to lose that reputation. It was the only thing that ever went into his favour.

 

 _I don’t know_ was all he signed.

 

Gabriel just nodded, as if to say ‘fair enough’ and opened the door wider for Castiel to walk in. Gabriel’s room was a mess; it always was. Clothing strewn everywhere from two weeks ago, CDs piled high on his desk, some in their cases and others either in the CD player or on the floor. Castiel was surprised Gabriel hadn’t stepped on them yet.

 

There were empty glasses and empty boxes of take out on the bedside table- they all had their own credit cards and Gabe had a tendency to buy take-out before dinner.

 

 _It’s a mess in here Gabe_ , Castiel signed before sitting down on the one clear spot in the room; Gabriel’s bed.

 

“I’m sorry,” Gabriel said, “assignments galore.”

 

Castiel rolled his eyes as Gabriel turned around to change the song on the stereo. Some other weird pop punk band began playing through the speakers. Castiel couldn’t tell the difference between the sounds so he assumed it was music by the same band.

 

 _Why can’t you clean up at around this time_ , Castiel asked, _insomnia is a perfect excuse to clean your room at three in the morning_.

 

Gabriel just shrugged and sat down next to Castiel on the bed, grabbing one of the take-out food boxes which turned out to still have noodles in it, “want some?” he asked. Castiel shook his head, “suit yourself,” he grabbed some chopsticks from the table and began digging in, all the while talking.

 

Talking and eating at the same time was a talent of Gabriel’s, most of the time it didn’t even sound like there was food in his mouth.

 

“So, what’s going on?” he asked, “is it school that’s bothering you?”

 

Castiel shook his head.

 

“Because, dude, if you need help with assignments-.”

 

Castiel made a hurried hand movement.

 

“I didn’t catch that,” Gabriel said, sitting back further on the bed, sitting his back against the wall.

 

Castiel copied him and repeated the signing again, this time slower; _it has nothing to do with school_.

 

“Then...?” Gabriel smirked, “is it Dean?”

 

Castiel looked at him, confused.

 

“Don’t play stupid,” Gabriel groaned, “do you forget you’re gay sometimes?”

 

Castiel rolled his eyes; _I don’t believe it’s possible for someone to forget they are gay_.

 

Gabriel sighed, “You take everything so literally.”

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

After a long talk with Gabriel, he had to admit he felt better even though he still hadn’t told him that he knew about Lucifer and how he was out. He couldn’t bring himself to even when Gabriel had been adamant about knowing. But just talking about things like school, even Gabriel’s music had helped him calm down.

 

He made his way back to his room at five in the morning, feeling calm enough now that he could sleep peacefully until he had to wake up for school, which he really wasn’t looking forward to. But it was a normal dreading, not so much fear anymore.

 

He crawled into bed, but left the lamp light on his desk on; he wasn’t all that comfortable yet and he didn’t want to ruin his calm by seeing things in the dark again.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, here's another chapter! Enjoy! :D

MUTED

 

 

9

 

 

 

Ever since Gabriel had pointed it out, Castiel was beginning to find himself attracted to Dean. The way he walked, smiled, spoke- he found it attractive, hell, even the way he held a pencil. He was constantly distracted in certain classes because of this; the protruding veins in his hands were sexy for crying out loud.

 

He was sitting at lunch, next to Dean, trying hard not to turn his head and just stare at the boy as he ate, when Gabriel sat down and started signing at him.

 

 _I see you’re smitten with him now,_ Gabriel said, pointing at Dean- though the boy didn’t seem to notice even though he was watching Gabriel’s hands move.

 

 _Shut up_ , Castiel signed, noticing that Dean was watching his hands move as well.

 

 _You want to hug him and kiss him and be cute with him,_ Gabriel signed with a smirk, _just admit it you little gay shit head_

 

 _Little gay shit head?_ Castiel asked, rolling his eyes, _you’re good with words_

Gabriel smirked; _you know who else is good with words?_

_Who?_

_Dean. But I bet his mouth is great when it comes to other things as well_.

 

Castiel glared at his brother, his face heating up and he was sure it was slowly turning red. He glared down at his food, surprised it didn’t end up on fire.

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

Dean was getting a book from his locker when Castiel turned up behind him with a note. Dean opened it up to read it.

 

_I need to get out of my house again, same with Gabriel and Michael. Do you think we could come over again tonight?_

Dean smiled down at the note and crumpled it in his pocket. He thought for two seconds before signing _yeah, sure_ , _my mom loves you guys_.

 

He saw Castiel’s eyes widen with shock.

 

 _Can you understand this?_ Castiel signed.

 

 

He could see Castiel’s face go red; _did you understand everything at lunch?_

Dean frowned, “nah, I’m only a beginner man...”

 

Castiel nodded and signed, _okay...that sucks_.

 

Castiel headed towards what Dean supposed was Gabriel or Michael’s locker. He smirked slightly as the dark haired boy turned his back on him.

 

He had understood every word at lunch.

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

They were all sitting in Dean’s room again in beanbags. Castiel was reading Dean’s bunch of sign language books, Michael was trying to beat Dean’s high score on some video game that they’d found behind the TV, and Gabriel was looking through Dean’s CDs.

 

“Nirvana,” Gabriel said, “I don’t have this CD.”

 

“I have two copies,” Dean said, “take one if you like.”

 

Gabriel muttered something that sounded like ‘sweet’ and put it in his school bag to take home the next day.

 

“So, what’s going on at home that makes you want to leave so desperately?” Dean asked, “This is the second time you’ve been here simply because you can’t stand being home.”

 

Michael sighed and pressed pause on the game control and turned to face Dean, “well, our mother cares way too much about her reputation as a person to even consider being a parent. We’re just her trophies; something to show that she doesn’t just focus on her career- but that’s still all she does. But everyone just assumes that because we’re well clothed, good looking, thin but well fed, etc. That she’s taking care of us the way a decent parent should.”

 

“But she’s a horrible mother,” Gabriel said, “neglectful in every sense of the word. She didn’t even raise us,” he said rolling his eyes and slumping into his beanbag, “she hired a nanny and she’s the closest thing we’ve ever had to a mother since then, and that was years ago.”

 

Dean looked rather speechless, “well...that sucks...” he bit his lip, “my mom likes you guys, and she adopted Charlie and Adam so...”

 

“I’ve never even met Charlie,” Gabriel said, “or Adam. Are they ghosts?”

 

Dean rolled his eyes, “Charlie’s in the kitchen cooking dinner tonight and Adam is in the lounge room with Sam.”

 

“Still betting they’re ghosts.”

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

Dinner that night was much less eventful for Castiel than the last one. There was no spilling of gravy all over his clothes, and this time he felt free to take off his scarf. No one stared at his scars, even his mother still did sometimes when they were eating and he had his scarf off. But nobody even gave them a second look, and not in a way that suggested everyone was avoiding looking at him, but in a way that said, ‘we don’t think you’re a freak.’

 

Charlie spoke a lot about comic books and how she wanted to apply for a job at a comic book store nearby. Adam called her a nerd, making Charlie roll her eyes at him, though you could tell it wasn’t said in a mean way; but a friendly teasing way. Sam spoke about some teacher who was a pain in the ass and how he couldn’t wait until he was finished in the fresh hell that school was, Dean laughed at him and remind him he still had a few more years to go.

 

Gabriel and Michael joined in on conversations, though Castiel stayed silent. Not because not everyone knew how to sign or because he didn’t have a notepad with him, but because he felt comfortable. He was enjoying the way the conversation flowed between everyone without any signs of it being tense.

 

This was what a real family felt like.

 

After dinner, Castiel, Michael and Gabriel all volunteered to do the dishes, much to Mary’s amusement. Gabriel and Michael ended up with the job and Dean and Castiel ended up sitting on the lounge room couch, watching the news.

 

**ESCAPED MENTAL PATIENT: CONSIDERED EXTREMELY DANGEROUS**

 

 

He heard the sounds of water and dishes being stacked stop from the kitchen. He even felt Dean stiffen beside him. The news reader looked grave, and he wondered if he actually cared, but Castiel doubted the man did.

 

“ ** _Disturbed mental patient Lucifer Novak, aged-_**.”

 

The TV was shut off before the rest of the sentence could come out of the reporter’s mouth. Dean held the remote in his slightly shaky left hand. But it was too late.

 

Castiel had already known, but now that it had been confirmed it seemed so much worse.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter for you guys! I'll try and write another one ASAP but here is your fix for now. I spent most of the day working on my photography assignment and then reading The Scorch Trials by James Dashner. However, I finished this chapter last night, so really I could have uploaded it last night. Either way, sorry for the wait.

MUTED

 

 

10

 

 

The air seemed to disappear from the room as he felt metaphorical hands wrapped around his throat, the room around him seemed to grow darker as he felt warmth pour from his eyes and down his cheeks.

 

But everything seemed to light up when he felt arms wrap around his body. The metaphorical hands disappeared from around his throat; the arms wrapped around him the only things he allowed himself to focus on. He breathed in deep, relaxing in the arms wrapped around them. They were probably Michael’s, he knew how instinctively protective his older brother was of him. But when he looked up, he recognised only Dean.  

 

“Are you okay?” he asked. Castiel shrugged, it was a stupid question. Did he really look okay? But he knew Dean was trying his hardest. He tried to stand up from his seat on the couch but stumbled and almost fell into the TV.

 

“Woah, easy there tiger,” Dean muttered, grabbing him and pulling him up so he stood up straight. Castiel took a deep breath and turned around to face Dean who was looking at him with obvious concern. It took him a second to notice Gabriel and Michael standing behind Dean, looking guilty and worried as well.

 

 _Why_...Castiel breathed out again, his hands shaking as he tried to sign, _why didn’t you tell me?_

 

The two boys stammered for answers, but he knew anyway that it would be something cliché, like ‘we didn’t want to worry you,’ or ‘we didn’t want you to get hurt.’

 

He turned to the right and went out the front door; he needed air.                    

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

Castiel ended up sitting down on a swing set near the park at the end of the street. It was cold outside; he hugged his trench coat that Gabriel had got him tighter. Then thought about how much of a traitor Gabriel was and shrugged it off and let it fall to the ground in a heap.

 

It was cold, but he refused to pick up the jacket again.

 

He heard footsteps come up behind him and immediately regretted sitting in a place where someone could easily creep up behind him. His breathing became heavy and in pants, the palm of his hands began to sweat, and he felt arms wrap around his body again.

 

“You okay?”

 

He jumped and looked up to find Dean again. He swallowed harshly, but the sound didn’t sound normal, it sounds like a little squeak rather than a regular gulping noise. He wanted to cry, he didn’t know what for though. Relief? Relief that it hadn’t been Lucifer creeping up behind him or his other brothers that he couldn’t face? He felt safe in Dean’s arms in a way he had never had in anyone’s. His mother’s hugs generally felt uncomfortable, and his brother’s hugs only ever happened when he freaked out. This felt different, even if he was freaking out now.

 

He shook his head no, because it was the truth and he felt he could be honest with Dean. He didn’t feel obligated to lie about his wellbeing like he did with his brothers.

 

Dean came up in front of him and sat on the cold, wet grass. He smiled up at Castiel and grabbed each of Castiel’s hands, “I don’t know how you deal with it,” he said, rubbing a thumb across his right hand. Castiel’s cheeks felt warm and he didn’t know whether it was because of the close proximity and the sign of affection, or because his palms were sweaty and Dean would be feeling the sweat on the pad of his thumb.

 

“It must be insane,” Dean said, “I’ll admit, your brothers told me what happened,” he muttered, “and that your brother was out of the asylum...”

 

He looked up at Dean; he wanted to feel angry that Dean hadn’t gotten the guts to tell him. But he couldn’t feel mad at Dean. His brother’s had probably told Dean not to tell him.

 

“But you didn’t look all that surprised,” Dean said, “You already knew, didn’t you.”

 

Castiel sighed and slowly nodded.

 

“It’s okay,” Dean muttered, “I’d still be mad, if it were me.”

 

Castiel wasn’t even sure he was mad anymore. He got up slowly, pulling Dean up with him as he turned his wrists and tightened his grip around Dean’s hand.

 

“Wanna go home?” Dean asked.

 

Without motioning or signing anything, Castiel leaned in and hugged Dean tightly. The other boy instantly started rubbing his back soothingly as he began to make weird sobbing noises that didn’t even sound human.

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

As soon as they got home, Mary was all over Castiel, wrapping him up in a blanket despite the fact that he was wearing his trench coat again and making him sit on the couch with promises of whatever hot beverage he preferred. He went for a cup of tea, because it felt like the perfect time for one. Coffee would just worsen his anxiety.

 

His brother’s apologised for not telling him; and Castiel explained that he already knew and realistically he had no reason to carry on like that; they were just trying to protect him. They ended up hugging him and sitting down with him in the lounge room while he drank his tea.

 

The TV stayed off for the rest of the night.

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

“You know we won’t let him hurt you, right?” Dean asked Castiel, looking at him with still a tiny hint of concern.

 

Castiel nodded, but he didn’t know if he knew it or not.

 

Michael and Gabriel were asleep and it was four in the morning. It was cold, Dean and Castiel were wrapped in their blankets and sitting in beanbags. The TV was on, but the video game was paused, the slight hum of the TV being the only sound that filled the room. Castiel was tired, but he also didn’t want to sleep. But it wasn’t because he was afraid of Lucifer showing up and killing Castiel in his sleep. He was enjoying the time he was spending with Dean.

 

“You know I like you, right?”

 

Castiel looked up confused.

 

“You know, I like you,” Dean said, his face going slowly red, “like...” he looked down at his hands in embarrassment. Castiel waited, his confusion only growing.

 

“You know I’m bisexual, right?” Dean asked.

 

Castiel shook his head slowly, _no...I wasn’t aware_ , he signed, forgetting that Dean wasn’t fluent with sign language yet.

 

“Yeah, well,” Dean muttered, seeming to understand, “I like you. In a romantic way.”

 

Castiel couldn’t think of anything to sign, or write down, or even think. He just stared.

 

“Alright,” Dean said hastily, turning his back to Castiel and looking out the far window, “goodnight Castiel.”

 

Castiel sat frozen, unsure of what he had done wrong.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I'm a nice person; here's the next update!
> 
> If people like this fic so much, I might consider writing more Destiel fanfiction in the future :D

MUTED

 

 

11

 

 

Having feelings for Dean Winchester and not being able to pursue them was hard. He didn’t want to bring Dean into this whole Lucifer mess; he didn’t want Dean to get hurt either physically, or emotionally. If he just stayed away, he wouldn’t have to hurt Dean at all.

 

Though, what made it hard was that Dean still tried to talk to him, he would make friendly remarks and talk to him during lunch times and it bothered him, because all he wanted to do was distance himself away from Dean. But Dean just wanted to stay in Castiel’s life.

 

The news of Lucifer Novak breaking out of a mental asylum was big news around the school; and like Gabriel had once said, Novak wasn’t a very common last name, so many people picked up that Lucifer was somehow related to three students in the school. But, Michael and Gabriel kept their heads held high, Gabriel even threatening a younger student that, if he didn’t shut up about it, he’d call Lucifer and set him on the young man.

 

Castiel tried to ignore all the whisperings and the jokes; that retards must run in the family, but it was hard. Especially whenever he turned a corner, he was still worried that Lucifer would be there, waiting for him, blending in with the crowd of students making their way to class. Lucifer would drag him into a broom closet or a bathroom or abandoned classroom. He would raise a knife, and would finish the job he had started.

 

“Hey, Cas, you alright?”

 

He felt a hand land on his shoulder and he turned around quickly. Dean was standing there, looking at him with a mixture of confusion and worry.

 

“You’ve been standing in the middle of the corridor for the last five minutes,” Dean muttered. Castiel looked around at the empty corridor. Dean was right. Few students remained as well; getting extra things from their lockers for class or whatever else they were doing; finishing their cigarettes in the school bathrooms. Castiel bit his lip and looked down at the floor. He was turning into a massive mess.

 

These were the moments he wished he could talk. Mutter a silent sorry and then walk off, leave Dean abandoned in the school corridor. He couldn’t do this now.

 

“You good?” Dean asked when Castiel hadn’t moved. He nodded.

 

“I’ll see you after lunch then.”

 

Then Dean took off, and Castiel wasn’t sure whether he was disappointed or relieved. He wanted to stick with Dean, who he knew had a different class to him right now. He felt safe with Dean; but he also didn’t want to put Dean in danger.

 

He made his way towards his own locker, with shaky hands he took out some books he needed for class, before angrily slamming the locker door and turning away.

 

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

When it was lunch time, Gabriel went over to sit with the jocks, who he seemed to be great friends with despite never playing sport with them. Michael went over to the lab geeks to discuss the science fair; Sam was sitting with a bunch of boys who were supposedly in his English class...which left Castiel with Dean.

 

Normally this would have upset Castiel, but he had a burning question on his mind that had been there for the last few days. He got out his notepad, making Dean look at him expectantly. He began writing the question that had been stuck in his mind- it was all he’d been thinking about lately and he’d been waiting for a time where they were alone together.

 

_Why did you say “wanna go home?” that night?_

He pushed the note over to Dean, who read it with a confused look, “what night?” he asked, though his cheeks had turned a little red.

 

_That night in the park. I know you remember._

Dean sighed and bit his lip, “because, you were a mess and I wanted you to come back home with me?”

 

Castiel frowned, _but, it’s not my home_. _You didn’t take me back to my home - you took me back to yours_.

 

Dean smiled, “and yet you didn’t correct me anyway...” he muttered, “funny that.”

 

That made Castiel pause; it was true, he hadn’t corrected Dean at all, but he hadn’t been in a good condition. He hadn’t been thinking like that back then. But thinking about it – did he really consider the place he went to most days after school, ate, and slept, home?

 

The bell rang and Dean got up, looking a little annoyed, the same way he had in the morning a few hours after waking up, after he’d confessed his romantic attraction to Castiel. Like Castiel wasn’t saying the things Dean wanted him to say.

 

When Castiel got home, he went into the fridge looking for food. He hadn’t eaten much at lunch time and was starving. When he looked into the fridge, he grabbed a plate of food that hadn’t been there the night before and ate it without question.

 

“What are you doing Castiel?!” he heard his mother screech from behind him, “that was for someone else!”

 

Castiel looked down at the half empty plate of spaghetti, which had tasted horrible anyway – his mother’s cooking normally was – but it had been enough to fill his empty stomach. He signed sorry, but his mother sent him to his room for back-chatting. Castiel really wished his mother would learn sign language, hell; Dean had learned more sign language than her.

 

When he got to his room, he crawled out the window and climbed down the tree outside, before making his way to Dean’s house.

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

“Hello Cas!” Dean’s mom exclaimed, before wrapping her arms tightly around the boy in front of him. She settled her hands in front of her chest and signed _how are you?_

 

Castiel’s mouth was agape, and he almost felt the urge to cry. Dean’s mom had learned to sign before his own mother was even willing to. Mary smiled at him softly, “we’re learning at the hospital how to sign, so we can talk to deaf patients.”

 

Castiel nodded and decided to answer Mary’s question _I am good, yourself?_

 

Mary frowned, “that’s ‘ _I am good, yourself_?’ right?” she asked, signing the words as she said them. Castiel nodded making Mary smile, “I am good,” she said, signing along as she said the words again, “thank you.”

 

Mary opened the white front door wider for him, so he could pass and come into the main entrance. He’d always loved walking through it, all the family photos of her, Dean and Sam, eventually progressing to Mary, Adam, Sam and Dean and then last but not least, a bunch of photos of Mary, Charlie, Adam, Dean and Sam altogether. It warmed his heart; the only photos Gabriel, Michael and his mother had around the house was her getting publishing awards in ceremonies, her first time on Oprah, Ellen and Jimmy Fallon – you name it. But nothing of the three of them. She was only a celebrity, not a mother.

 

This was the type of family he wanted. Not some, egomaniac of a mother who loved only herself and no one else.

 

“Dean’s upstairs in his room if you want to talk to him,” Mary said, “If you want, I’ll make you tea or coffee?”

 

Castiel nodded and smiled at her politely, and signed _yes please_ , which she seemed to understand, before going upstairs and heading towards Dean’s bedroom door. It was open, and Dean was sitting and listening to music on his stereo.

 

“Cas?” he looked up, confused, “what are you doing here?”

 

He grabbed out a notepad and pen, and began to write, sitting on the edge of the boy’s bed without his permission. He felt it would tell Dean just how serious he thought the situation was.

 

_I’m sorry that I left you like that, that night. After you told me how you felt about me. It was wrong of me to do that, especially when I feel the same._

 

He passed the note over to Dean with shaky hands, holding his breath in as his eyes scanned over Castiel’s messy writing. Dean looked up and gave him a smile, “so...you’re saying you like me?”

 

Castiel nodded.

 

Dean slowly sat next to him on the bed, and wrapped his arms around him. They sat like that for a long time. Never moving. Just enjoying one another’s warmth.


	12. Chapter 12

MUTED

 

 

12

 

 

 

**_Cas???_ **

****

**_CAS??_ **

****

**_Are you awake?_ **

****

**_Come on dude it’s Saturday_ **

****

**_Come and entertain me?_ **

****

**_I’m home alone_ **

****

**_I got ditched for sleeping in_ **

****

**_Bring your brothers_ **

****

**_They’re amusing at times_ **

****

**_CAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!_ **

****

Castiel rolled his eyes as he scrolled through the messages on his phone, before getting out of bed, throwing on any ordinary clothing he could find and telling his brothers that he was going over to Dean’s. They tagged along without even being asked.

 

They took Michael’s car, rather than walking. It was easier. Their mother was out, working on some book with her company- trying to get some positive reviews off of big names authors, which apparently took a while to do.

 

When they got there, Dean opened the door enthusiastically, looking like he was on the verge of death – if you could die from boredom that is.

 

“It’s about time you guys got here,” Dean mumbled, “I’ve been bored shitless.”

 

“Where’s everyone else?” Gabriel asked, walking in without being invited. Michael followed in, seeming a little more hesitant about it. Castiel waited for a nod from Dean before he walked inside the house.

 

“They went food shopping or something,” Dean said, “well, Charlie took Sam and Adam food shopping- mom’s at work, she won’t be home until five.”

 

Castiel looked at his watch, it was twelve thirty.

 

“You guys can stay over again if you’d like,” Dean said, “mom doesn’t really seem to care to be honest.”

 

“Cool,” Gabriel said, already sitting on the couch, feet propped up on the arm of the couch with the TV remote in his hand. Dean rolled his eyes and shut the front door as Castiel moved towards the lounge room to sit in the arm chair. Castiel wasn’t as comfortable making himself at home as Gabriel and Michael were, but to be fair they were friends with Dean before he was. He was secretly jealous of that fact; if he’d just gone to normal high school, he could have gone through high school with Dean. And then maybe their friendship wouldn’t be so awkward.

 

Castiel frowned, but was it a friendship? Were they dating now?

 

He sighed and sat down on the couch and tried not to look grumpy and uncomfortable. Michael was at the far back of the lounge room, scanning the bookshelves for something to read. Mary had a massive book collection, that probably rivalled that of the library not too far from here, and it was all fiction; minus a few nursing books here and there.

 

“Hey, Cas?”

 

Castiel looked up to see Dean standing in front of him. He’d been so distracted; he hadn’t even noticed the boy walking closer towards him.

 

“I wanna show you something,” Dean said slowly, his cheeks seeming to go a little red. Gabriel was smirking, but surprisingly didn’t say a word. Castiel nodded, standing up slowly as Dean turned around and made his way towards the stairs. He followed.

 

He could feel his palms sweating as he made his way up the stairs, and found he was staring at the way Dean’s arse moved when he walked. He averted his gaze and watched his feet move up the stairs instead, feeling like a pervert.

 

He had to blame his mother for that one. She was incredibly homophobic.

 

The sound of Dean’s shoes on the carpet matched the speed of his beating heart; he wiped his hands on his jeans, hoping against hope that the sweat left no dark smudges on his clothing that would be noticeable to Dean. Dean turned around, frowning when he noticed that Castiel had stopped walking.

 

“Come on,” Dean muttered with a small smile, reaching forward and grabbing his scarf and dragging him forward by it. Castiel walked forward slowly but without hesitation.

 

Dean closed the door behind the both of them and pulled Castiel into the middle of the room by grabbing and holding both of Castiel’s hands in his. He smiled softly at him, before muttering something that Castiel didn’t quite hear. He cocked up a brow, trying to let Dean know he hadn’t heard.

 

“I want to kiss you,” he repeated, louder this time, “I wanted your permission first.”

 

Castiel licked his lips, nervous and unsure how to respond. He’d never kissed anyone before. What if he was bad at it? What if Dean never wanted to kiss him because of it?

 

“I’m sorry,” Dean said, slowly pulling away, “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I’m probably-.”

 

Dean was cut off when Castiel walked forwards, flung his arms around Dean’s neck and kissed him. Dean’s eyes widened slightly, before they closed on instinct. The warm pressure of another pair of lips against his own was pure Heaven.

 

As Castiel’s arms tightened slightly around his neck, Dean’s arms wrapped around Castiel’s waist, pulling him closer. When they pulled away, it was only to catch their breath, and then they were kissing again. Neither of them wanted to stop.

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

Charlie, Adam and Sam ended up coming home at one thirty in the afternoon, carrying bags of groceries in and asking everyone to help. Castiel was more than happy to, putting things in cupboards as Adam pointed out which things went where, though every time he saw Dean filling a cupboard or chucking a spare bag in the bin, his mind seemed to die. Until Adam had to shake him awake from whatever day dream he’d been about to have.

 

He felt less nervous about sitting next to Dean on the couch this time. Dean was holding on his hand, hidden behind the side of his jacket, rubbing his thumb across Castiel’s knuckles. He wondered whether Gabriel and Michael had known what had happened once Castiel and Dean had disappeared. Gabriel had been smirking, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything, and Michael at the time had had his head basically buried in the bookshelves lining the walls, looking for the next book he would probably finish reading in a day.

 

Mary was home at five minutes past five, with take out and surprisingly she had enough for everyone, “Charlie gave me a call,” she said, “said that you guys had come over so I grabbed some extra food.”

 

Michael smiled, “we’ll pay you back,” he said, his voice filled with sincerity.

 

“No need,” Mary said, sitting down to eat while Sam grabbed knives and forks and Dean some plates and bowls for all the Chinese food, “your reward for helping put away the groceries when you didn’t have to.”

 

Nobody argued.

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

“She overworks herself,” Dean muttered tiredly in his room, everyone was in bed, but the four boys meaning Dean, Michael, Gabriel and Castiel were all up.

 

Gabriel looked up from the magazine he was reading, “Who, your mom?” he asked, “Well...to be honest nursing is pretty hard. You could just work for thirty minutes and you’d already be overworking yourself.”

 

Michael rolled his eyes, “that’s a bit of an over-exaggeration but I agree with you.”

 

“Either way,” Dean mumbled, “she’s always tired after work and it worries me,” he said, “she’s working way too hard.”

 

“Maybe we should do something nice for her tomorrow morning,” Michael said, “before she goes to work again.”

 

“She hasn’t got work tomorrow, she’s meeting some guy.”

 

“Like a date?” Gabriel asked, “go mama Winchester!” he exclaimed, throwing a fist into the air.

 

Dean rolled his eyes and threw his pillow at him.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually really starting to enjoy writing this fic. So. Yeah. That's why updates are coming quicker. 
> 
> But they may slow down again soon, because I have school tomorrow :/ I normally take my laptop with me to school and attempt to write at recess, lunch, and generally between classes. But do you know how hard it is to write ultra gay fanfiction in PUBLIC?
> 
>  
> 
> Yeah. It's hard for me. 
> 
> So is the characters dick.
> 
> EYYYY
> 
> Okay I'm sorry, leaving.

MUTED

 

 

13

 

 

Kissing was slowly becoming one of Castiel’s favourite things to do. It was weird how suddenly it had turned from ‘thing he had never done before’ to ‘thing he always wanted to do.’

 

He spent a lot of time at Dean’s house and when they weren’t talking, or helping out Dean’s mom, or watching TV, listening to music, playing video games, whatever. They were kissing; and it didn’t matter who was there to witness it. His brother’s had complained many times about the openness of the two when it came to publicly displaying their affections, but Castiel was sure secretly that Michael and Gabriel were just happy that he had found someone to be like that with.

 

When Castiel had been thirteen and some people within the special school had started dating, he had once tried to ask a girl out named Susan. She had shook her head and said that his scars were too scary. That’s when he started wearing scarves pretty much anywhere.

 

Dean wasn’t afraid of his scars.

 

When they kissed, he would purposely take off his scarf slowly, and then when they broke apart, Dean would start softly kissing his neck. It meant a lot to Castiel; it was probably the biggest sign of all that Dean wasn’t afraid of his baggage. That he wasn’t afraid of Lucifer even though he was out.

 

“What would you do if he suddenly turned up?” Dean asked, “I know you probably don’t want me to ask such things, but you need a plan.”

 

Castiel nodded, understanding, but the worst bit was the fact that he really didn’t know.

 

He wasn’t strong and he definitely had no idea how to fight. That one time in the school hallway with the football team pretty much proved that. Dean and Michael had come to save his ass, and Michael hated violence.

 

Besides, he was sure Lucifer was much stronger than him. Maybe not mentally but at least physically; he’d be able to pin him to his bed and slit his throat in two seconds, and if he was sober he’d have even more of a chance to get the job done. If he was drunk though, Castiel still wouldn’t have a chance in hell to save himself.

 

He felt as if Dean knew the same thing, and how uncomfortable the thought of his own weakness made Castiel, so he didn’t ask about it anymore, the only thing he said was, “you should start spending more time at my house.”

 

Castiel nodded with a small smile; he would have done that even if his life wasn’t in danger.

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

That night, his mother called him and told him he needed to come home. Castiel didn’t understand, but he went anyway, with not much enthusiasm.

 

When he got there, his mother was standing in the kitchen with her arms crossed in front of her chest, “boyfriend, huh?” she asked, her tone letting on just how much trouble he was in. Her eyebrow was cocked up on her arrogant face. He swallowed harshly before nodding slightly.

 

“Yes?” his mother asked.

 

Castiel didn’t know how to communicate with her.

 

“I’m disgusted, Castiel,” she said, clearly, her eyes shining with disapproval, “absolutely disgusted. After everything I have done for you – bought you food, given you shelter, even when you look like a freak-.”

 

Castiel began to cry, his eyes burning and his tears rolling slowly down his cheeks.

 

“And now, you do this to me,” she said, slamming her hand down on the countertop angrily, “do you have any idea of how this may affect my reputation?”

 

Castiel simply nodded, looking down at the tile patterned floor.

 

The phone began to ring, and when he heard his mother pick it up and answer he had never felt more relieved.

 

“Hello?”

 

Castiel waited.

 

“Oh...hello,” her tone turned dark, Castiel looked up and his mother’s expression had turned a little pale, but she seemed relatively calm, “how have you been? Yes, that’s good. Anything I can do for you?”

 

Castiel wanted to desperately know who was on the phone with his mother, she seemed a little shaken and despite what had just happened, he still cared for her wellbeing a little. But, he sat in his chair.

 

“Castiel, go to bed sweetheart,” his mother said suddenly, turning towards him and pointing up the stairs, “now.”

 

Castiel frowned, but did as he was told, wiping his cheeks despite the fact that his tears were almost dried up on his face anyway. Before leaving the kitchen, he turned around and caught his mother’s attention before pointing towards the phone and cocking up a brow.

 

“He says he hopes you sleep well,” she muttered, “now go to bed.”

 

Castiel sighed and did as he was told; wishing he’d just rebelled and stayed at Dean’s instead.

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

“Cas...CAS!”

 

Castiel woke up, scared out of his wits. He looked around his room and came face to face with...

 

 

He sighed, relaxing automatically. The boy smiled at him and told him to move over. He did as he was told and was happy when Dean got into bed beside him.

 

“Michael messaged me,” he said, “told me your mother had given you a bit of hell.”

 

He nodded, his eyes beginning to burn again. He buried his face into Dean’s shoulder. The boy sighed and ran a hand through his hair, making Castiel slowly calm down, “sucks,” he muttered, tiredly, “I’m glad my mother isn’t like that. I mean, she does have two gay children.”

 

Castiel looked up and cocked a brow.

 

“Charlie is a lesbian,” Dean said simply, “my mother still loves her all the same as the rest of us,” he said, “then again, the amount of times she’s  gone into a patients room and the story is ‘my homophobic parent beat me up,’ she’d be stupid to not realise how wrong it is.”

 

Castiel nodded. Curling up even tighter against Dean’s side, to the point where he was practically on top of him.

 

“Cas?”

 

Castiel tried to make an ‘mmm’ sound, but it sounded croaky and distorted. But Dean seemed to get the point anyway.

 

“I really, really like you.”

 

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone that has been reading, finally a chapter in which the plot has progressed massively xD
> 
> Anyway, I feel like I should add that when I write young Lucifer, I always picture him as Evan Peters...x'D

MUTED

 

 

14

 

 

 

“This new guy she’s seeing is named Chuck,” Dean said over breakfast – he and Castiel were sitting outside of some cafe close to school. It mainly served cereal, coffees and tea. Some snack food – but at least it was good food, “she says he’s a godsend.”

 

Castiel smiled, he was happy Mary had someone. If there was someone who deserved to be happy, it was most definitely her. The woman had practically, in a way without even mentioning it, adopted him and his brothers without a moment’s hesitation. Apparently she had been the same with Charlie and Adam.

 

 _Do you like him_? Castiel signed, looking at Dean’s face. Dean simply shrugged and bit into a sandwich he’d gotten from the snack bar, “I kind of do,” he said, “he seems nice, but I can’t trust him – he could easily hurt my mom.”

 

Castiel slowly shook his head, _I don’t think he will_.

 

Dean cocked up an eyebrow, “I don’t think I’ve learned that one.”

 

For moments like these, Castiel would still have a notepad and pen around to write what he wanted to say.

 

He wrote it down and Dean simply shrugged, “but you don’t know that – hell, I don’t even know that and I’ve met the guy.”

 

Dean continued to eat his sandwich, a little moodily. Castiel wasn’t sure how to help in anyway; he wasn’t used to situations like this. His mother hadn’t met anyone ever since his father had left before he was even born. Gabriel and Michael had known the man and apparently he’d been a great big bag of dicks – but not as bad as their mother. Lucifer had even met him, but obviously Castiel couldn’t get Lucifer’s opinion.

 

His mother hadn’t even shown interest in anyone that way. She was all work and no relationships. Though, Castiel was secretly happy for it. His mother would settle for nothing less than perfect, and if that were the case he was sure if he was to get a new step-father he would be a massive douche.

 

“We should get going,” Dean said, looking down at his watch, “otherwise, we’re going to be late.”

 

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

 

“Hello little brother,” Gabriel said, standing in front of Castiel’s locker with a smirk on his face, he turned to look at Dean, “hello cradle snatcher.”

 

Dean rolled his eyes and shoved Gabriel back into the locker playfully, “did I miss anything this morning?”

 

“Oh you know, just a break in from a psychopath,” Gabriel said casually, “alien invasion, gang came in trying to recruit members-.”

 

Dean rolled his eyes, “so...nothing interesting, then?”

 

“Pretty much,” Gabriel said, “So, what did you two get up to?” he asked, raising his eyebrows insinuatingly. He did this every time Dean and Castiel snuck off together, but admittedly the most they’d ever gotten up to was making out in the school toilets, sharing a cubicle. Not exactly the dream make-out spot, but you weren’t allowed to in the hallways.

 

“Nothing,” Dean said, “we went to get food.”

 

“What, at that crappy cafe?” Gabriel asked, “I know the owner; was on the school football team three years ago. He used to be a massive dick until he had to get a testicle removed due to testicular torsion.”

 

Castiel screwed up his face in empathetic pain.

 

“Castiel Novak?”

 

Castiel looked half way down the hallway, where the principal was leaning out of his office door, looking irritable.

 

“Someone just called the phone in my office looking for you,” he said, “come here please.”

 

Castiel looked nervously at both Dean and Gabriel, thinking that he was in trouble, before he made his way towards the office. When he entered, it was small, and he didn’t know how the overweight principal made himself fit in here. It was cold, small, but pristine clean. There was a black phone on the desk, cordless. Castiel picked it up slowly, but didn’t know how to alert the other person he was there.

 

“I can hear you breathing,” the voice said, “how are you dear Castiel?” the voice asked, “oh, that’s right, you can’t talk...” Castiel could hear a cackle, which set his teeth on edge, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up and his palms began to sweat nervously. He waited for the voice to continue, but the sadistic cackling went on for a while.

 

“Why not talk Castiel?” the voice asked, despite having just said he knew why, “that’s right – I fucked up your vocal chords, now didn’t I?”

 

Castiel felt his eyes widen.

 

“That’s right little brother,” he heard Lucifer breathe into the phone, “I know what school you go to...I know how to contact you...I mean – I did call mom the other night and say goodnight to you, said that I hoped that you would sleep well.”

 

Castiel wanted to hang up, but he couldn’t. All of his limbs remained frozen in their place, in fear. He could feel his body shaking and his breaths getting harsher. His brain felt dead.

 

“I hope soon to put you into a more _permanent_ sleep,” another cackle, “TTYL, Castiel. Keep an eye open,” the breathing continued, “or I’ll rip them both out,” Lucifer said darkly, before hanging up the phone.

 

The dull dialling tone of the phone was enough to lull Castiel out of his state of shock. But rather that sitting the phone back on the desk, he dropped it onto the floor and ran out of the room. Not listening as the principal cursed him for being rude and breaking the new phone they’d purchased – running past Dean and Gabriel and not hearing them shout out for him. He heard Michael at some point as well, but he continued running, running and running until he was outside of the school.

 

He kept running until he felt safe.

 

When he finally snapped out of it, he stared at the door in front of him. There was a button, he pressed it, and he heard a ring from inside. There were footsteps and slowly the door opened.

 

“Hello!” there was a pause, “Castiel? Sweetheart, you’re looking awfully pale.”

 

Castiel fainted, right in front of Mary, landing at her feet.  


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to comment and kudos! :D

MUTED

 

 

15

 

 

When Castiel woke up, he could sense people around him before he saw, or even heard them. His vision was blurry and everything around him felt fuzzy. He slowly began to remember everything that had happened. The phone call in the principal’s office, running away from everyone and finding himself at the Winchester house and then fainting at Mary Winchester’s feet and all because of...

 

Lucifer

 

He’d called him.

 

He made a small little groaning sound, the most human sound he’d made in a while, and he heard a voice call his name which slowly became clearer every time his name was repeated.

 

“Castiel, can you hear me? Baby, can you hear?”

 

He turned to see Mary looking a little distressed, but happy to see him awake, “you okay honey?” she asked, “you...passed out.”

 

Castiel nodded, noticing a man standing behind Mary with a grim look on his bearded face.

 

 

“I called Dean,” Mary said, “he and your brothers are on their way.”

 

Castiel nodded slowly, still looking at the man behind Mary who gave him a grim smile, “hi,” he said, as Mary went up to get Castiel a drink of water, “my names Chuck.”

 

Castiel nodded and shook the hand that was offered to him. So this was Chuck, the godsend. He was wearing the same uniform Mary would wear when coming home from work. So, Chuck was a nurse as well it seemed.

 

“Here, drink this,” Mary said, sitting down on the edge of the couch he and Dean had sat on so many times before, watching TV and holding hands. He sat up and drank some of the water, noticing how dry and chapped his lips were. He gave Mary a look of gratefulness.

 

“You’re welcome,” she said with a soft smile.

 

The doorbell rand repetitively, like the person on the other side of the door was anxiously trying to get into the house. Mary sighed, muttered about something to do with Dean and went to open the door.

 

When it did open, Dean practically body checked Mary in order to get to Castiel. He ran straight to the couch and hugged Castiel tightly, almost making water spill everywhere, “you’re okay!” he exclaimed, “what the fuck happened?!” he asked, his voice cracking and going up a few octaves. He heard Gabriel whisper behind Dean, looking at Michael with amusement as he whispered the word “testi-pop.”

 

Now was probably the best time to tell everyone than any. Half of the people who would protect him the most were in this room, hell; he even had a good feeling about Chuck.

 

He signed to Gabriel and Michael, _other brother, Lucifer, phone call...he threatened me._

 

He noticed Gabriel go pale, which was a rare occurrence, so when Dean noticed he instantly began to panic, “what?” Dean asked, “What happened? Is it really that bad?”

 

Michael’s hands were shaking slightly and he stuttered as he spoke, “Lucifer called Castiel and threatened him,” Michael muttered, “which means he knows exactly where Castiel is...he was probably watching him the whole time.”

 

Castiel froze, he hadn’t thought of it like that. He could feel his palms break out into a sweat again and the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. Now that he thought about it, he had been feeling like he was being watched, no matter where he went, for a while now. That didn’t stop the sweat pouring from his palms.

 

Mary frowned worriedly about the situation, “then we need to call the police,” she said, “he’s an escape mental patient; he could hurt anyone, not just Castiel.”

 

Chuck got out his phone, “I’ll contact them now,” he said, heading into another room, “what school do you boys go to?”

 

Dean, Gabriel and Michael all rushed to explain so all of their words become jumbled together, Chuck looked exhausted, and if this situation wasn’t so serious then Castiel may have found it humorous.

 

Chuck looked at Mary with despair, and she whispered the name of the school before the man left the room and made the call. He could hear Chuck speaking in the kitchen, telling police about the situation.

 

Dean sat at the edge of the couch, and held Castiel’s hand; he felt the pad of Dean’s thumb rub across the top of his knuckles soothingly. He closed his eyes at the sensation, and lay down on the couch. He could almost go to sleep this way. With everything slowly being taken care of, he could feel himself relax a little. There was a voice in the back of his mind, telling him he should still be cautious, but he blocked it out for the moment.

 

He fell asleep to the feeling of Dean’s thumb rubbing against his knuckles, the sound of mumbling and muttering voices being more comforting than he thought they should be.

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

 

“I think he should stay here for the night,” Michael said, “so you and Chuck can keep an eye on him – we’ll go get his things.”

 

“Alright, sounds good to me.”

 

He heard the door shut quietly. His eyes were still closed, and he could feel a presence beside him, which felt too small to be Dean. He cracked open his eyes and looked beside him, it was Sam, who was watching TV with the sound off while he had a textbook open in front of him. When he noticed Castiel awake, he smiled softly at him and closed the textbook politely.

 

“Dean’s in the kitchen getting you another glass of water, just in case you needed it when you woke up.”

 

Castiel nodded, sitting up straight and looking at the TV. It was only the news, the same monotonous news reporter from the night they announced Lucifer’s escape, was on.

 

“Also, Michael and Gabriel went home to get some of your things for the night,” Sam said, “and to tell your mom what happened at school.”

 

Castiel doubted his mother would care, but it was good to tell her anyway, otherwise, they would probably get into trouble for not notifying her. This could probably be a great situation for her to get even more publicity.

 

Castiel pushed his feet over the edge of the couch. Everything felt fuzzy around him again, surreal. He wasn’t one to nap during the middle of the day, and the fact that he had fallen asleep in the morning and now it was night time felt weird to him. He slowly made his way to the kitchen, where he saw Dean standing there, talking to Adam.

 

Adam looked directly at him, making Dean turn around with a shocked expression.

 

“You’re awake,” Dean said, “are you feeling okay?”

 

Castiel nodded and lifted his hands to chest height, _the best that I could possibly feel in this situation_.

 

Dean walked forwards and wrapped his arms around Castiel, hugging him tightly. Castiel lifted his arms and put them around Dean’s neck, hugging him just as tightly, propping his head up on Dean’s shoulder. He looked over at Adam, who looked uncomfortable. He wondered if the boy was homophobic, or whether he was just uncomfortable with the public display of affection – either way Castiel didn’t care. He wanted to feel loved.

 

He needed to feel loved right now.

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

“On a scale of one to ten, ten being worried parent, and one being ‘this could be bad for my reputation,’ how concerned do you think our mother will be?” Gabriel asked as they pulled up in the drive way of the Novak house. There was only one light on, and it was in the kitchen, they got out of the car and walked up to the front door, which was locked. Gabriel groaned, “Looks like we have to go around the back,” he muttered darkly, beginning to walk that way.

 

Michael nodded and followed, “I think I would give her a four,” Michael muttered, “but then again she may surprise me.”

 

Gabriel made a snorting noise and opened the door, leaving it open for Michael to walk through and closing it softly – their mother hated slamming doors.

 

“Mo-!” Gabriel’s mouth was covered quickly by Michael’s hand. He glared at the older boy and said something muffled, which sounds an awful lot like ‘what the fuck!?’

 

“She’s talking to someone,” Michael whispered, “A man...I can hear them.”

 

Michael slowly removed his hand from Gabriel’s mouth, “kitchen?” he asked, whispering back. Michael nodded and they slowly headed toward a door way near the brightly lit kitchen.

 

“I don’t understand why you kept him,” the male voice said, “He’s a freak.”

 

“Well I couldn’t keep you, now could I?” they heard their mother respond, “there was so much media coverage-.”

 

“It’s always about your pathetic reputation,” the man muttered, “I don’t understand why I should do this for you. Why I should help you with this. You’ve done nothing for me.”

 

“I made sure you went to a hospital, rather than a jail,” their mother said softly, “Lucifer, please.”

 

The two boys froze, trying to keep their breathing quiet as the conversation continued.

 

“If I get caught, then I go to jail,” Lucifer said, “I’m not really willing to risk that.”

 

“And if you kill him,” their mother said, “then you get a lot of money, you get to leave the hospital, and my reputation will increase-.”

 

“Yes, yes, you’ll get your pissy pity party,” Lucifer said angrily, “I get it, more publicity because people will feel sorry for you – you’ll be talked about for weeks, you and the tragic murder of your youngest son.”

 

There was a small pause, “but don’t you want the job finished?” their mother asked their brother, “How pathetic you must be seen as – not even able to finish off your own brother. Only in the mental hospital because you damaged your brother’s vocal chords-.”

 

“Shut up!” Lucifer shouted, “I was drunk you fucking old bat!”

 

“And now you’re sober,” she said, “and you can make up for your failures. Finish the job. If you get caught, at least you’ll go in as someone who completed the job, rather than someone who went in for a weak attempt at one.”

 

The silence continued.

 

“Fine; I’ll do it.”

 

Michael and Gabriel ran.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm sorry it took so long to update but as I said - I have school again for another few months. I also start another work experience placement tomorrow - at my old primary school in fact. 
> 
> Anyway, here's the next chapter. Enjoy - and love me :'3

MUTED

 

 

16

 

 

“I don’t understand why you didn’t just unlock the door with your house keys,” Sam muttered with a mouth full of chips, “you scared the crap out of everyone, including Cas, with all your banging on the door.”

 

“I dropped my keys,” Dean mumbled defensively, “I panicked.”

 

Sam rolled his eyes, “drama queen.”

 

There was banging on the door again and shouting to be let in, causing Sam to drop his bag of chips on the ground, he rolled his eyes, “someone stole your moves Dean.”

 

Dean ignored him, standing up quickly and rushing over to open the door. He stepped back hastily as Michael and Gabriel practically flew in, topping over a few photo frames as Gabriel clumsily banged into the wall – luckily none of the glass broke.

 

“What the hell-?”

 

“We need to talk to Castiel,” Michael said instantly, he turned toward the couch to see Castiel, who had looked amused at Sam and Dean’s petty argument before, but was now looking startled, like a deer caught in headlights. Michael felt a moment of pity for the boy, but knew this was important.

 

“Castiel - kitchen, now”

 

He nodded and got up, letting his blanket fall to the ground. He wasn’t wearing his regular trench coat – Gabriel noticed it splayed across the back of the couch.

 

They rushed into the kitchen, Dean following in behind them, “what the hell is going on?” he asked, starting to sound a little frustrated.

 

“We didn’t want Sam to hear,” Michael muttered, “it’s up to you whether or not you want him to know about what’s going on.”

 

 _I don’t even know what’s going on,_ Castiel signed, sighing dejectedly.

 

“It’s about our mother,” Gabriel said. Dean always noticed that they never ever called her mom. They always said mother, coldly and without an inch of respect in their tones. He knew ‘mother’ was a snobby way to say mom, but neither of them were snobs.

 

“What about her?” Dean asked for Castiel, who looked too exhausted to sign anything – or maybe he was just sick of everyone’s crap.

 

“She’s in on it,” Michael said, “she’s in with Lucifer – they want to kill Castiel.”

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

Dean didn’t know what was worse, a look of shock or betrayal or Castiel’s look of non-astonishment. It spoke lengths about the treatment the boy had suffered in his reasonably short life. Castiel felt around behind him for a chair and sat down at the kitchen table, but that was all he did. He sat there and signed nothing, he didn’t look disappointed, shocked, betrayed, anything, just a blank gaze, slowly followed by a small shrug.

 

“There’s no way you guys are going back now,” Dean muttered angrily, “that bitch is crazy.”

 

“We were going to ask whether we could stay for a while.”

 

“Mom’s already called the police,” Dean said, “We can get her to call again and tell them that he’s at your house-.”

 

“Good idea,” Gabriel said with a smirk, “mother has always loved her publicity.”

 

“No publicity is bad publicity,” Michael said, imitating a squeaky tone which Dean assumed was an imitation of their mother.

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

It was a long hard confusing story to tell Mary, but eventually she began to understand the situation. She called the police and told them what had happened and where Lucifer might be. Twenty minutes later, they called back, stating that they couldn’t find Lucifer at the scene, and that there wasn’t enough evidence for the mother to be charged with anything.

 

Mary had to restrain herself not to slam the phone down angrily.

 

“You’re all staying here,” she said in an frustrated tone, looking between Michael, Gabriel and Castiel, “there is no way you’re going back to that maniac’s house, understood?” she asked. The three boys showed no signs of wanting to even argue.

 

Dean watched as his mom paced back and forth in the lounge room, Sam was sitting on the couch, looking between everyone with a slight look of worry. They had told him what was going on, and that Castiel, Michael and Gabriel might need to stay for a while. Sam nodded and said he was willing to lend anyone a room.

 

“I think we’d feel more comfortable keeping an eye on Castiel,” Michael said, looking towards Castiel for a reaction. He just shrugged – it was the safest idea after all. If Lucifer somehow found out where he was staying, and figured out which room was Dean’s, at least Michael or Gabriel could get a couple of punches in, in self defence. He would be weak on his own and he didn’t know how strong Dean would be against his older lunatic brother.

 

They discussed a few more things, like school. They didn’t want their grades to drop but they didn’t want to put themselves in danger either.

 

“I don’t know how much time you can take off school,” Mary said, nibbling at her lower lip worriedly, “Dean, Sam, I think you’re safe to go...” she still looked nervous, uncertain about her decision, “he shouldn’t know what you look like. Gabriel and Michael however...”

 

“We’ll be fine,” Michael said, “I’m sure he won’t hurt us.”

 

Castiel wasn’t too sure.

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

The beanbags were replaced with the floor and some sleeping bags. Sleeping sitting up all the time wasn’t good for them all and their backs anyway.

 

Castiel felt safe, he was on the floor, curled up between his two brothers. Dean was either on the floor or the bed, he wasn’t sure. He’d closed his eyes and pretended to be a sleep long before everyone else had gone to bed. He hadn’t wanted to deal with anyone, not after everything that had happened. He felt like everyone was babying him – like he couldn’t take care of himself. Though he admitted he would have no chance when it came to a fight between himself and Lucifer, but he didn’t really appreciate the babying.

 

“Cas?”

 

His eyes suddenly sprung open at the mentioning of his name. He looked around and his eyes landed on the bed, where Dean was leaning up on his elbow, propping his head on his hand. He gave Castiel a soft smile, knowing that the other boy had seen him.

 

“Come here,” he muttered quietly.

 

Castiel slowly sat up and tried to step around his brother’s bodies, he felt he stepped on Michael’s hand at one point, but his older brother simply grunted and curled in tighter on himself, snoring a little in an attempt to get back to sleep.

 

He looked at Dean questioningly as Dean moved aside on his bed, “you should lay down with me.”

 

Castiel wanted to ask why, but didn’t know how well Dean would be able to see him sign in the darkness. He tried, but Dean seemed to get the gist, “I feel like being a sappy shit,” he mumbled, sounding tired, “plus...I can’t sleep...you’re too far away from me and I don’t want something to happen to you just because I couldn’t get to you fast enough.”

 

Castiel nodded and slowly got into the other side, cautious, for some reason not to touch Dean. Getting into bed with him seemed a little more intimate, even more so than hugging and the occasional tonsil hockey, as Sam liked to call it. This seemed a lot more intimate than anything they’d ever done and Castiel hadn’t even felt their limbs touch each other yet.

 

As soon as he lay down and relaxed, he felt Dean wrap an arm around him and kiss his cheek softly before mumbling a small ‘good night.’ It made Castiel feel good, loved and protected. He also liked the fact that Dean no longer asked for permission to show him the tiniest amounts of affection. Something like this, he felt he shouldn’t have to give permission for constantly – though it was nice that was how he started their relationship off. Asking, making sure he was comfortable with everything. But now, slowing getting to know each other’s limits, it made everything a lot easier - less awkward.

 

“Cas?”

 

Castiel rubbed Dean’s arm to let Dean know he was listening.

 

“I think you’re going to be okay. I’ll protect you. He’s not going to lay a finger on you – I’ll kill him myself.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I wrote most of this while at my old primary school doing work experience for the school's library. Really weird being back here to be honest. 
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, here's the next chapter! Most of these chapters at these points are fillers and only have little details about Cas and his life and maybe some cute Dean/Cas scenes and Michael/Gabriel protective brother scenes.

MUTED

 

 

 

17

 

 

 

Waking up in Dean’s arms was...unusual. It felt good, but it was something he wasn’t used to having – it was amazing actually. He curled in, even further on himself and snuggled into the warmth Dean’s body allowed him to have. He heard Dean mutter something, but his arm still remained around Castiel, making the boy’s cheeks flush slightly.

 

This is a feeling he’d never thought he’d ever wake up to. Warmth, love, a nice dreamless sleep.

 

When he looked down it turned out Michael and Gabriel were already up and had left the room. He briefly wondered what the two of them had thought about Castiel being in bed with Dean - being their protective selves might have taken it the wrong way.

 

He slowly got out of the bed, not wanting to leave the warmth of Dean’s arms – but he did it anyway, almost regretting it instantly as he felt his feet touch the soft carpet. He padded his way over to the door and into the hallway.

 

There was a certain amount of friendly warmth he felt in his home that he had never felt in his own – a feeling of actually being a part of a family. He could smell what appeared to be pancakes, something his mother had never cooked him or his brothers – the sugar wasn’t good for them and she couldn’t deal with either hyper or overweight children. He’d had pancakes before – Michael had cooked them once when their mother wasn’t home. He didn’t know whether it was funny or sad that Michael cooking and helping them eat through a gigantic stack of pancakes was one of their few moments of teenager and childhood rebellion.

 

Castiel made his way slowly into the kitchen, Gabriel and Michael were sitting in the lounge room, eating their pancakes and watching the morning news. Sam was doing his homework at the dining table and attempting to eat his own pancakes at the same time, non-successfully.

 

“Castiel!”

 

Castiel turned and looked to see Mary at the stove cooking more pancakes, Charlie was sitting at the other side of the table looking ready for food and Adam was getting out cups for everyone’s drinks.

 

“Have some pancakes!” Mary said, putting some more on the stack that was sitting in the middle of the table. Charlie instantly went and grabbed the top one, lathering syrup onto it, “sorry Cas,” she said, cheerfully, “I like them fresh out of the pan!”

 

Castiel nodded, hoping Charlie knew that he didn’t really mind as he went and grabbed his own warm pancake and chuck it on a spare plate. He didn’t know what to put on it. There was jam, syrup, and lemon and sugar?

 

“A little something Dean and Sam discovered when they were younger while playing truth or dare,” Mary answered due to Castiel’s questioning glance, “it’s quite nice – have a bite of Sam’s if you want a try.”

 

Sam pushed his plate closer to Castiel’s slowly, focusing on the textbook in front of him and writing down in his notebook beside him, his eyes glued to the page slowly chewing on the one bit of pancake he had successfully gotten into his mouth without losing the staring competition he had going on with the words on the page.

 

Castiel shook his head politely and decided to have his pancake plain. Sam simply shrugged but didn’t move the plate back towards him.

 

Dean came down into the kitchen not long after, taking a pancake off of the middle plate and smothering it with jam before stuffing at least half of it into his mouth. Mary turned around at just the right time to catch him doing so and looked at him with dismay.

 

She sighed, “really Dean?” Mary asked, sounding defeated, “why can’t you eat like a normal human being?”

 

Dean simply shrugged and continued to chew on the pancake hungrily, amusement dancing in his eyes as he looked down at Castiel, who was admittedly quite amused. He would never have gotten away with something like that in his house; his mother hated it when he accidentally spilled something on himself, even the tiniest drop of sauce – or even something like a pea that didn’t stain his clothing permanently. She was fussy. Mary was also fussy but you weren’t like to get punished for eating like a wild animal.

 

The thought of his mother sent a shiver down his spine. Should he really keep thinking of her as his mother, or more as the person attempting to send him to his death? The person before the executioner - the one that decided he didn’t deserve to live for whatever crime he had committed. Except he hadn’t committed a crime, it was the other way round. The executioner was the criminal and he was, unfairly, being sent to his death. That wasn’t what a mother was supposed to do.

 

A mother was supposed to be like Mary.

 

His life was beginning to feel unfairly brutal. He wished things would back to the way they were before – Lucifer locked up, mental children school, a mother who couldn’t tolerate him but he at least knew she had no plans to kill him.

 

The whole situation felt surreal – like a TV show – soap opera. Something his mother would watch and then complain about the falseness of it all, but then she refused to watch reality shows because they were mediocre and they all seemed to copy one another.

 

He felt a nudge against his shoulder and he looked beside him. Charlie had gone and Dean had taken his place, looking at him with a concerned look, “are you okay, Cas?” he asked, he had another pancake in front of him, this time on a plate, but he hadn’t touched it yet, instead he was watching Castiel with worry.

 

Castiel nodded with a small frown and picked up another pancake. Once again, it felt like a little pathetic version of teenage rebellion, as he stuffed it into his mouth like Dean had done.

 

Who knew pancakes could give him such deep thoughts?

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

Sam and Dean went to school, not without complaint, and Michael and Gabriel spent the time attempting to help Mary any way they possibly could before she had to go to work.

 

“I’ll be fine boys,” Mary said, “if you must do something, then do the dishes and maybe dust the bookshelf. But that’s all I want you doing – nothing extravagant. You’re guests.”

 

“Guests who owe you because you’re attempting to protect us from our psychopath of a brother,” Gabriel chimed in, “this is a little different from the regular guest situation.”

 

He had a point.

 

Mary just shook her head and thanked them both for whatever they planned on doing and then went to work, saying she should be back by six o’clock and that Chuck might be coming over.

 

Gabriel turned to look at Castiel who was sitting on the couch, staring at the TV and watching the news.

 

“That isn’t going to help you, you know?” Gabriel stated, looking amused, “if anything it’s going to put you even more on edge.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's taken forever to post a new update, I literally just finished it in my math class. Life has been literal hell for me at the moment and I'm trying my best to hold on. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I'll try and upload the next update as soon as I can. Sorry for any inconvenience.

MUTED

 

 

18

 

 

 

Dean walked down the school halls, wondering if he looked like a lost puppy. He felt like one; the school felt empty despite the three hundred other students around him. Castiel wasn’t there, and therefore the school was empty and worthless and had lost all its meaning. Most days, it was the only reason he got up in the morning and forced himself into his car. Also because Sam needed an education – he wanted to go to college, become a Lawyer. As for Dean – he’d given up ages ago. He failed most of his school tests and felt like a deadbeat. He'd only found his enthusiasm for school coming back again once Castiel had started coming.

 

When he’d found out he was Gabriel’s brother? He didn’t know how he’d felt; like he couldn’t approach the boy anymore; that there was some rule amongst siblings. You couldn’t be friends with both of them. Or flirt with one of them. Dating your best friend’s brother was a common cliché amongst the girls of the school – though he personally hadn’t heard of many boys doing it.

 

He’d gone ahead and done it anyway; risking his friendship with Gabriel and his acquaintance with Michael, but only ended up closer to them than ever. They’d become...sort of like a little fucked up family.

 

“Dean, are you okay?”

 

He looked down; Sam was standing behind him carrying textbooks once again. He didn’t know why he needed so many – the classes he had didn’t require any and they were harder than what Sam was taking.

 

“Yeah,” Dean muttered, looking down at the tile floor of the school hall, “I’m alright.”

 

Sam frowned, “liar.”

 

“I’m just tired Sammy.”

 

Sam sighed, “Come on,” he said, grabbing Dean’s hand and pulling him, “we’re going to the library for the rest of the day. Then we can go home.”

 

Dean frowned, “but what about your classes?” Dean asked, sounding surprised.

 

“Family is a lot more important than one day of missed classes,” Sam said, continuing to pull Dean towards the library by his hand, “now, come on, library – now.”

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

Dean wondered to himself quietly, while sitting in the library on a hard, uncomfortable plastic chair, when it had changed from him taking care of Sam to Sam taking care of him. Admittedly, the situation was stressful and he was happy to have someone sit him down and tell him to relax a little, because if he didn’t he probably would have died from...emotional over exertion – if that was an actual thing.

 

“We need to go home,” Sam muttered quietly, “it doesn’t feel right being here when Castiel, Gabriel and Michael are home alone and Lucifer is on the loose.”

 

Dean’s eyes widened, “you’re insinuating that we-.”

 

“Leave school,” Sam said, “just go home.”

 

Dean chuckled softly, “someone’s going through their rebellious stage a little bit early.”

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

So Dean and Sam got into the Impala and headed home, where they hoped Castiel, Gabriel and Michael would still be. As he was driving he had a multitude of horrible thoughts running through his head. That Lucifer had found out where they are from their mother, had broken in, and was currently holding them all as hostages.

 

That maybe they’d all returned home to get some clothing and Lucifer had held them up there, which he felt they wouldn’t be too smart to do but he didn’t know.

 

He felt his palms sweating slightly against the vinyl of the steering wheel, he told himself to breathe and not to panic – surely they were fine.

 

“Dean, are you alright?” Sam asked quietly from the passenger seat, “You look a little pale.”

 

Dean nodded, “just a little worried is all,” he muttered, “I’ll be fine once we get back home.”

 

Which, now that he began recognising his surroundings, wasn’t too far away. He took a left turn into their street and slowly made their way towards their house which wasn’t far from the other end of the street. When he finally got to the front of his house, there was an alarm going off inside.

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

Dean hastily got out of the car and ran towards the front door of the house, Sam not too far behind him; he hastily thrust his key into the door lock and unlocked it before rushing it. He smelled smoke and rushed towards the kitchen where Gabriel and Castiel were trying their best to get the smoke alarms to shut off. There was no fire; there was nothing that even resembled a flame.

 

“We couldn’t get it to shut off!” Gabriel exclaimed.

 

Michael was standing in the lounge room looking a little amused, “they were cooking microwave popcorn and they burnt it.”

 

Dean sighed, a little relieved and grabbed a tea towel from off the bench, “you’re supposed to clear the smoke away from the alarm with a towel – not just wave your hands randomly in the air,” Dean muttered, finally beginning to smell the burnt popcorn as he used the towel to clear the smoke and the smell of smoke away from the alarm. Finally, the alarm shut off and he sighed.

 

“You useless rich boys,” Dean said, rolling his eyes, “not knowing how to shut off a fire alarm.”

 

“I suggested fly kicking it,” Gabriel said, “but Michael thought that was a bad idea.”

 

Sam was sitting in the lounge room now, looking calm although heavily amused, “I don’t think I’m comfortable leaving you alone in the house – next time we come back we might not have a house.”

 

Gabriel glared at him, but Castiel let out a little choked laugh. They all started laughing, from a mixture of relief and amusement.

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

“What did you guys burn in here?” Mary asked as she opened the door, holding some grocery bags. Chuck came in behind her, carrying a little more than Mary was and looking a little tired.

 

“Popcorn,” Gabriel answered, “I was hungry and it was the only food I felt comfortable stealing from you – because it’s cheap.”

 

Dean rolled his eyes in the kitchen, “we’re not even poor.”

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

 

“How was today?” Dean asked Castiel after dinner.

 

Castiel shrugged and reached around for a notepad – Dean handed him one and a pen before he could even sign and ask for one. He nodded at him in thanks and started to write hastily on it.

 

 _It was tiring and all day I was worried that Lucifer might jump through the window or something – I feel much better knowing you’re here and I don’t know why_.

 

Dean sighed, “I’m staying home tomorrow,” he said defiantly, “I don’t like the fact that you’re stressing.”

 

Castiel felt his body go warm and he didn’t quite understand why his body was doing so, but he smiled anyway and nodded slowly. He just hoped that Dean wouldn’t get into trouble from his mother for not going to school the next day and deciding to stay home for him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the pretty small chapter. I will make up for it with hopefully what will be a decent sized chapter for the next chapter. But, despite its small size, I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Also, recently my laptop keyboard has been screwing up, so that isn't fun at all to be honest. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the chapter :)

MUTED

 

 

Chapter Nineteen

 

 

 

Mary didn’t seem to against Dean and Sam staying home until Lucifer had been caught. The fact was; she’d been worried about them all day. So, knowing they were home made her feel better – but only a little.

 

“I wish there was something else I could do,” Mary muttered, packing her handbag after pulling it apart, looking for her cell.

 

Dean shrugged, “we’ll be fine,” he said casually, almost as if he were talking about the weather. Mary sighed, rolling her eyes at Dean before shrugging the straps of her back onto her shoulder, “seriously, we will,” Dean said, trying to sound confident, “we’re tough.”

 

“The other day you screamed at a spider,” Mary said in a huff, “I’m sorry if I feel like I have a reason to be worried.”

 

Dean tried not to roll his eyes himself “then maybe contact Uncle Bobby?” he looked like it was the most obvious idea in the world, “you know how over-protective he is.”

 

“I tried contacting him,” Mary said, grabbing her car keys off of the bench, “he’s out of town – on business.”

 

Dean had no idea what business meant. He never really talked to his uncle Bobby a lot, and didn’t know much about the guy other than the fact that he was a really skilled mechanic and that he knew a lot about guns, considering he did a lot of hunting during the right season. Uncle Bobby wasn’t his real uncle, but he was the closest thing his dad had had to a brother, which was good enough for Dean to call him Uncle Bobby – even mentally.

 

“Look, you’ll just have to trust that _we will be fine_ \- promise.”

 

Mary still looked uncertain, but she grabbed a notepad and began writing down a bunch of numbers, “here are your emergency numbers-.”

 

“Mom,” Dean groaned slightly, “I know how to dial 991 – it’s only _three_ numbers!”

 

“No,” Mary said, “there’s Chuck’s number, the lady at the front desk at work, 911 and my direct work number.”

 

Mary thrust the note toward him and Dean made a show of sighing and folding the piece of paper in half before placing it into his pocket, “alright, happy?” he asked, “will you go now?”

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

“Staying and not being allowed to go anywhere is quite boring when you think about it,” Dean muttered, pressing the buttons on his gaming control harder, as if that would make the attack much more affective, “at least with the thought that you can leave the house and go down to the shops or something – that makes staying home more entertaining. I feel like we’re just on lockdown with more things to do.”

 

“What?” Gabriel asked, “Like kicking your ass?” Gabriel blue clad character aimed and kicked Dean’s red clad character in the head.

 

Dean rolled his eyes, “yeah, well-,” Dean’s red clad character turned around after the attack, kicking Gabriel’s blue clad character in the ribs and sending him down onto the floor. Gabriel pressed buttons randomly and hastily as the loud, ominous voice began counting down from ten, but his character was getting up.

 

“ _K.O_ ”

 

“You totally cheated, Winchester,” Gabriel muttered darkly, throwing the remote onto the ground without much anger, merely feigned for entertainment.

 

Castiel was sitting on top of Dean’s bed, reading one of Mary’s many books – Michael was down in the kitchen with Sam attempting to make food for everyone.

 

“We need to devise a plan, you realise?” Dean said, turning the game system off and turning towards Castiel and Gabriel, “what if Lucifer does come to the house and then breaks in and tries to hurt one of us?” he didn’t mention Castiel’s name but everyone knew he was thinking it.

 

“There’s really no point in making a plan,” Gabriel said with a small snort, “it’s not like he’s some major assassin.”

 

“But-”

 

“No,” Gabriel stopped him right there, “there is no point in devising some massive plan because it just unsettles everyone and freaks them out,” he said, “if we treat him like an unstoppable ninja then we’re going to freak out when, and if the moment comes. It’s simple – remember your exits; front door, back door, window, whatever. Just get out of the house,” he looked at Castiel and Dean as if this were the most obvious idea in the world, “I know I’m not normally the voice of reason, but it’s so goddamn obvious that even _I’m_ telling you.”

 

Dean sighed, “Alright,” he muttered, “I get it. Let’s stick with your idea.”

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

There was a knock on the door and Dean looked up and muttered sleepily, “come in.”

 

Castiel opened the door slowly and looked in, finding Dean in bed, awake, he grinned and slowly walked into the room, closing the door quietly behind him. He was supposed to be sleeping in Sam’s room and Michael and Gabriel were supposed to be sleeping in here. Mary had found out about the dating situation. But Michael and Gabriel had ended up swapping rooms just after Mary went to bed – saying it might be better if Castiel had warmer, more familiar company. Gabriel couldn’t help but wink when he had said that.

 

Castiel climbed into bed next to him, instantly wrapping the covers around himself and burying himself close to Dean. It was a cold night, so Dean wrapped an arm around him and tried to get as close to Castiel as was humanly comfortable.

 

“Are you okay?” Dean asked, “Do you want me to put a light on or something?” he asked.

 

He was shut up by pair of lips pressing against his own, tugging softly on the hem of his shirt, flinging a leg over Dean’s own two. Dean broke away for a second, and the tugging on his shirt became a lot more frantic. He sat up, cold rushing in as Dean took his shirt off before throwing it into a stray corner of the room. He placed his lips back onto Castiel’s, feeling his body swell with warmth.

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took forever to upload but my mental health has been terrible recently. This is the last chapter of the fanfiction and I made sure it was nice, big, and hopefully detailed enough. Admittedly, I left the end of the chapter with someone talking and without the hints of their future. But it's up to you what happened after that. 
> 
> It would actually be really interesting to read what you guys think, or hope, would happen after all of this. If you could write that down, that would be a very interesting read! :)

MUTED

 

 

CHAPTER TWENTY

 

 

Castiel woke up that morning with his lower back aching. But it was a good ache. Well, more like it was an ache that came out of a good thing. A thing that made him feel loved and made him feel special.

 

It made him feel like he was Dean Winchester’s, that he belonged to him in a way he’d been told nobody else had. But it was an unequal ownership – he owned Dean too.

 

He sat up slowly, hissing slightly at the pain but still feeling giddy nonetheless. It was a pain that was bearable, when he thought about last night. He made a strange little giggly type noise which seemed to get stuck around his vocal chords – remembering that he’d had trouble keeping quiet last night and so had Dean.

 

He knew he was young. But he didn’t care. He didn’t regret it – and hell, even if he and Dean split up in a few weeks, or a few months, or a year – he still wouldn’t regret it. Because Dean Winchester wasn’t the type of man you regretted being with, even if things ended horribly.

 

Besides, he was certain that Dean was the only one that was ever going to like him in this condition. How many people want a mute boyfriend who can occasionally make weird squawking noises?

 

He got out of bed, put on some clothing, once again smiling, seeing all of his clothing from the night before strewn across the floor messily, thrown uncaringly in a moment of passion, it made his heart swell. He walked out of the door feeling confident. He felt good. He felt alive.

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

“You’re in a good mood this morning, Cassie,” Gabriel said, pouring himself juice – which was a shock to Castiel who normally saw Gabriel drinking straight out of the carton, “no shrug dance for me today?” he asked, shrugging repetitively – he almost looked like he was going to have a fit.

 

Castiel shrugged with a grin on his face.

 

“That’s my boy,” he muttered, almost proudly, “but seriously, why so happy?”

 

Castiel bit his lip lightly, he didn’t really know whether he wanted to tell Gabriel, because this could end up going two ways;

 

One: Gabriel high fives him and congratulates him etc.

Two: Dean gets whacked in the face with a chair.

 

He decided on simply shrugging again with a wicked little smirk on his face.

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

Skin against skin was Castiel’s new favourite feeling; they didn’t end up having sex again that night – he was still sore. But he enjoyed the feeling of nakedly kissing Dean. It felt even more intimate than having sex – because you’re caught up in the moment. This time, as he kissed Dean, he got to feel every detail, every little more, every tiny dint in his skin indicating an old scar which was probably connected to some beautiful childhood memory. He made a small little moan noise, which almost sounded completely normal to him.

 

Dean moved his lips away from his, making Castiel groan with disappointment. Then he felt Dean’s lips move onto his neck, brushing against the scarred skin softly, as if he were afraid of hurting Castiel. Castiel grabbed the back of Dean’s hair, tugging softly, and pushing his own head back, exposing his neck to Dean in a way he’d never done so before.

 

Every line, every detail, every vulnerable moment

 

And he wasn’t even scared.

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

“I haven’t heard any threats, there’s been nothing on the news,” Mary said, scrubbing the dishes harshly. Sam had attempted to make grilled cheese using the microwave and it hadn’t ended well, “maybe you should go back to school for a while – but if anything happens you’re back to staying home for a while.”

 

Castiel almost felt relief. He felt cooped up here, and tense, waiting for something to happen. But Dean looked uneasy about the whole idea.

 

“We’ll be fine Deano,” Gabriel said, shoving a chip into his mouth, “the worst that’s going to happen is that Lucifer pops up right in the middle of math,” he paused, “sorry I meant the best thing.”

 

Castiel sighed noticing the look on Dean’s face. He knew Dean wished his brother would take this seriously, but the thing is, this was the way Gabriel dealt with everything – jokes.

 

“So, is that an agreement then?” Mary asked, “you’re all going to go to school tomorrow?”

 

Michael walked in, carrying a book and reading from it while putting an empty mug that had held coffee, in the sink, “do you want me to clean that?” he asked, pointing towards the plate with melted cheese on it. Mary just shook her head and began rinsing the mug. 

 

“I think we should go back,” Michael said, “there’s no point being here, when there’s no threat.”

 

Dean sighed, but said nothing more of an argument.

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

In the morning Castiel felt nothing but dread. Dean was still asleep next to him so he shook him roughly awake. He muttered something about wanting another five minutes, and turned over, his naked back turned towards him and his face turned away to the other side of the room. Castiel sighed and dragged himself out of the bed, picking up a spare shirt from the floor, hoping it was his, and replacing a pair of pyjama pants with a pair of jeans.

 

He was scared that Lucifer would show up and confront him somehow – he was probably staking out the school, just waiting for the moment he would come back or when he was alone in the halls. He would have to remind himself to try and be around someone at all times.

 

He wanted to call the police, tell them where Lucifer might be. But what if he was wrong? He would be embarrassed and the police officers might think he was lying to them. That it was simply a prank.

 

He heard another groan and turned around to see Dean slowly getting out of bed, “I hate school days,” he said, “not just Mondays, just school days in general – especially when you have a psychopath running around the place.”

 

He paused, turning to look at Castiel who was buttoning up the top button on his jeans, Dean sighed and shook his head regretfully, “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”

 

Castiel simply shrugged.

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

Castiel walked through the front doors that morning with Dean, Sam, Michael and Gabriel all following right behind him. He felt like he had his own army – that he was safe. And normally the school wasn’t that lack on security...was it?

 

He went straight to his locker and got out some of his textbooks after checking his timetable and realising he had math first up.

 

Gabriel grinned, “if Lucifer is going to pop up, it better happen now.”

 

Dean stood there for a moment, with a blank look.

 

“Are you alright, Dean?” Sam asked, looking concerned.

 

Dean shook his head slowly, a small smile growing on his face, “I still can’t believe your mother actually called her son Lucifer.”

 

It made Castiel laugh, but it wasn’t enough to get rid of the annoying edge of worry and fear – extreme anxiety, that he was feeling – and it had nothing to do with math.

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

 

Nothing happened during math or any of the other classes he attended that day. He was starting to feel a lot calmer. Maybe Lucifer wasn’t here at all, maybe he was just at home all day, waiting for Castiel to return there, which he never would, not until Lucifer was caught. Then he would get all of his things and leave home forever. There was no way in hell he could move back into that house.

 

Dean drove them all back to the Winchester household, and he knew everyone was thinking the same thing – thank God nothing had happened today. That maybe Lucifer wasn’t even around. Maybe, just maybe, they were going to be okay.

 

Castiel hoped things would stay that way.

 

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

Mary had called later on that afternoon saying she would be in late because there had been a car accident close to the hospital, which she said was a very lucky irony because it seemed most of the victims would be able to make it – and sure enough later on it was on the news. Dean pointed out that he could see his mom in the background, getting a stretcher and helping place someone on there. Castiel could see the look of pride on his face – he kissed his cheek softly and laid his head on the other boys shoulder.

 

Later on they picked out a movie; separate bowls of popcorn going around the room, Castiel shared his with Dean who was too engrossed in the movie to really eat all that much of it, so it may as well have been Castiel just eating it all by himself.

 

It ended up becoming a movie marathon, the time flying away from them in a way it hadn’t in ages. Mary got home and told them to go to bed at around two in the morning.

 

“You have school tomorrow,” Mary said harshly, sounding a little tired herself, “go to bed.”

 

At that point, Sam was wearing an empty bowl on his head and Gabriel was drumming it along to the beat of the movie - which was probably a really weird scene to walk in on now that he thought about it.

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

Castiel fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. He noticed with a small smile that the pillow he lay on, which used to smell like Dean was beginning to smell like him. It made him happy before he went to sleep.

 

But unfortunately, the happiness didn’t stay.

 

He heard whispering, he saw hands grabbing at him, felt a knife pressed against his throat, felt his back against the cold tile of a floor, he heard rushing water, he heard evil laughter, maniac even. He saw cold piercing eyes, the colour kept changing between blue and red and black. He felt his stomach drop.

 

He woke up screaming.

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

Mary was the first one into the room, which made Castiel wonder just how loud he had been – he wondered how loud he could have been with properly working vocal chords. Mary was rubbing his back, so was Dean, trying to calm him down. The sweat on his partially naked body was cold. Michael and Gabriel ran in, Sam slowly following him in a tired walk, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

 

“What happened?” Michael asked instantly, looking down at Castiel with extreme worry laced across his features. Gabriel looked pretty pale but that was the only thing relating to worry that showed. Mary looked a little mad.

 

“Are you okay?” she asked slowly. Castiel nodded, “good,” she said, “So, you two can explain to me why you’re in here Castiel,” he said, looking between Castiel and Dean.

 

Dean’s eyes widened ever further than they had before, which Castiel hadn’t thought was possible.

 

“I...uh”

 

Castiel looked at the far wall where nobody was standing, though he could say Gabriel’s smirk in the corner of his eye and Michael crossing his arms slightly, trying to look like he hadn’t agreed to Castiel staying in here with Dean.

 

“I don’t think I even want to know,” Mary muttered tiredly, rubbing her hand across her face.

 

“Then why ask?” Dean asked, sounding irritated at getting caught.

 

“Because,” Mary mumbled, “I’m your mother.”

 

Castiel had taken the time to look out the window and realized that the sun was out and shining.

 

“You can all get up and get ready for school,” she said.

 

“What?” Gabriel asked, sounding incredulous, “but we’re exhausted!”

 

Mary shrugged, standing up from sitting on the edge of the bed and making her way out of the room, almost with a sadistic smirk on her face that only a mom would be able to wear without seeming like an evil bitch, “you’re the ones stayed up until one in the morning, you deal with it.”

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

Copious amounts of coffee were drunk that morning from the cafe that was close to the school building - except for Sam, who Dean had learned not to give coffee to the younger boy because the poor guy would start bouncing off of the walls. Out of all of them, however, Sam seemed the most energized so it wasn’t like he needed it.  


They got to school a little late, Dean a little peeved because Gabriel had spilled coffee inside of his car.

 

“What have you got first?” Dean asked Castiel.

 

Castiel made a small noise in his throat, making Dean repeat the question. He got out his timetable and pointed at the first class up there.

 

“Science,” Dean said with a sad look. It was the only class, other than Castiel’s electives, that he didn’t have with Dean. He had it with no one he knew, which bugged him, because he could have really used the company right now.

 

“You’ll be fine,” Dean said confidently, but Castiel could see the doubt in the other boy’s eyes. He could read Dean like a book, one that he had already read several hundred times.

 

He headed off to his class as quickly as he could. He couldn’t stand to look at Dean’s worried glance. It put him on edge - it made him realize that he was foolish for believing that everything was okay. That it was only just the other’s trying to make him feel better about the situation.

 

He knocked on the science class room door and entered when someone eventually opened it - hoping that the class would be interesting enough to distract him.

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

It was during the middle of class that Castiel really needed to pee. He’d drunk too many cups of coffee and while they had helped him stay awake, they had also had a major effect on his bladder.  He was quick to ask to go to the bathroom, getting another student to get the teachers attention and he signed a simple ‘T’ with his hands. The teacher was obviously able to see his discomfort, and let him go without argument.

 

He rushed towards the toilet as quickly as he could, which was surprisingly speedy, but it helped that everybody was in class and that there was no one to swerve his body around.

 

When he was down, he looked at himself in the mirror. He looked dead tired, he knew that.

 

He heard a click, and turned his head around the corner to see who had entered the bathroom. His jaw dropped.

 

“Hello Castiel.”

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

If Castiel could have spoken he wouldn’t have. He was frozen in his fear.

 

“You’re probably wondering how I got in,” Lucifer said, “you forget that this used to be my high school – I know for a fact that during the day they never lock the back doors.”

 

“Look, this won’t take long,” Lucifer muttered, “a boy saw me on the way here and he looked awfully suspicious.”

 

He took something out of his pocket and Castiel forced himself to look down and see what it was, it seemed to take forever for his head to tip down and finally focus on what looked like a box cutter, black and yellow, in the man’s hand.

 

Lucifer slowly started creeping forward and in a panic, Castiel stupidly pushed himself into the corner of a cubicle, trying not to fall over the toilet. Lucifer was in front of him, the blade of the box cutter slowly lifting and pressing into the skin of his throat.

 

“Goodbye, Castiel.”

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

_Man that beeping is annoying_

_Can is please stop_

_Seriously shut it off_

_Who am I talking to?_

Castiel woke up, his vision blurred, machines around him beating monotonously. He sighed softly, feeling a little bit of pain as the skin around his neck contorted at the action, he winced and regretted it a second later.

 

He knew this feeling only too well, however he’d hoped he’d never have to feel it ever again. But it seemed things didn’t want to go too right for him in his short life.

 

“He’s awake!”

 

He heard the muffled exclamation from the door and turned to look out the small rectangular window. Mary Winchester was standing there, looking behind her as if talking to someone else. She opened the door, and people poured inside. It took him a while to notice the faces of Dean, Sam, Michael and Gabriel.

 

“We’re not allowed to have so many people in here at a time,” Mary muttered quietly, glaring at the four boys, “so behave and it won’t be a problem, understand?”

 

Everyone nodded quietly, refusing to argue. Mary seemed pleased with the response, smiled, and left the room without complaint. That’s when Dean walked over to him slowly and tentatively, before leaning down and kissing his lips softly, “I’m sorry I didn’t get to you sooner.”

 

Castiel bit his lip softly, he had liked the kiss but not the words that had come after. He didn’t want Dean to feel guilty for something he couldn’t prevent. Memories began slowly coming back.

_He was lying on the cold, tiled, bathroom floor at school, he could see his own blood in front of him and Lucifer had fled the scene – he’d left his weapon though, which he hoped would be used as evidence to put the man in jail once and for all. He heard the door open and bang hard against the bathroom wall and he tried hard to look up as he did so, but all he could hear were hasty footsteps and suddenly, shoe clad feet were in his vision. He could hear panicky fast paced breaths, the occasional sorry and a phone call in the distance, but nothing was registering. Was he in shock or was he bleeding out, dying?_

It startled him, remembering the details, but he felt it also put him at ease. He could remember what happened. He knew why he was in here, it wasn’t going to constantly be asking about what happened to him and nobody would be denying him the answers, like what happened in some of the movies he had watched with Dean.

 

Everyone pulled up chairs and started talking casually, as if they were all in Dean’s room on their bean bags – it almost felt normal. He simply listened – he didn’t feel like he could sign fast enough for the conversation, but it felt good to see them looking happy, whether it was acting or not.

 

It felt good to be alive.

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

 

“Come on, we’re going on a date.”

 

Castiel looked up from the crappy hospital sandwich that was made in front of him. You’d think after all the jokes made in books and sitcoms; they’d really attempt to make the food better. Dean was standing in the door way, smiling down at him, wearing a hooded jumper and some jeans, not exactly date clothing but he would do anything to get out of this goddamn room.

 

 _Where are we going?_ Castiel asked, signing slowly, hoping that Dean knew what it meant.

 

Dean shrugged, “it honestly isn’t anything flashy,” he muttered, “you can’t actually leave the hospital in your condition, but...” he flashed a smile, “you’ll see, okay?”

 

Castiel nodded, he trusted Dean.

 

 

 

 

(***)

 

 

 

The cafe near the school is where they ended up. People were sitting around them, chatting as if nothing bad had ever happened in their lives, which was a much better surrounding, than say, a hospital, where some people were given life and others were slowly dying.

 

The coffee seemed to taste better than usual, the air seemed fresher, the grass greener. He felt more optimistic than ever.

 

“I thought it would be nice to take you out here,” Dean said slowly, “and tell you that Lucifer was caught and he’s been sentenced to be in prison for a good forty years,” he muttered, “couldn’t get a lifetime sentence because...he didn’t actually kill you. But he’s down for violence against a minor and stuff like that,” Dean shrugged, “I don’t know about the technicalities.”

 

Castiel felt that last bit of negativity fly off his shoulders. He breathed in deeply and sighed with satisfaction. It made his heart soar.

 

Dean reached forward and grabbed the hand that wasn’t wrapped around the handle of his coffee mug. Castiel looked at Dean, with a small smile, tears in his eyes.

 

“You’re going to be okay,” Dean said, giving him a loving smile whilst rubbing Castiel’s knuckles with the pad of his thumb.

 

Dean seemed to relax, then and there, holding his hand visibly on the table and listening to all the people talk but not hearing the words.

 

“We’re going to be okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE DECIDED THAT THIS FANFICTION IS GETTING ONE LAST CHAPTER.
> 
> I love you all x


	21. Chapter 21

MUTED

 

 

EPILOGUE

 

 

_My name is Castiel Winchester. I am seventeen years old. I am adopted. I am loved._

_Let me tell you a few things about my life story and how I got here._

_When I was young, way too young, my older brother, Lucifer (I’ve been told many times that it’s ironic. Please don’t laugh) came home drunk. I had failed to perform a duty and his payback was slitting my throat._

_I used to think it was a well deserved punishment – for I had failed him. But I know better now. Lucifer was deranged._

_So was my mother._

_My mother, my biological one – when she realized how damaged I was after the incident, I was no longer her beautiful boy. I was nothing – I was a freak. She treated me coldly but I was too blind to see just how cold she was to me. And while, I know, that it’s naive – I can’t really blame myself – my mother is always acting for the cameras during TV interviews._

_My mother tried to get my brother to kill me and she almost succeeded._

_Because of my mother’s name and how famous and rich she was – after the whole incident went down, where my brother was charged and sentenced for forty years in prison and my mother was sentenced with twelve, I was asked for numerous interviews, TV, Magazine, Newspaper, you name it – they wanted me to cough everything up – and you could tell how desperate they were for a scoop considering they wanted to talk to someone who could only converse with sign language._

_My brothers got all my mother’s money when she was sentenced. When she comes back from that – she will have nothing. We gave the money to Mary, who deserved it more than we did. We ended up moving into my mother’s old house, renovating it a little with the money we had so it had extra rooms. I’ve been adopted by Mary Winchester and Chuck...I can’t even spell his last name so let’s not go there. I think its Shurley. They’re getting married in March._

_So, let me tell you what happened to each, important, individual._

_You already know what happened to Lucifer and my mother, Diana Novak. Yes, you may know her._

_Dean – completed high school early with decent grades, despite how he considered himself a failure. He’s now in college, studying journalism._

_Sam – he’s just started dating his first boyfriend after a terrible break up with his ex girlfriend. I was confused for a second until Dean explained bisexuality. It just shows how much Diana sheltered me with her homophobic ways._

_Gabriel – he used our Diana’s name to get his name out there and into the comedy industry. He’s now a guest host regularly on a Japanese game show where if you answer something wrong you get hit in the testicular region with a red ball. It’s amusing, I must admit. But I personally prefer Gabriel’s comedy Thank You For Smoking. Who knew my brother wanted to be an actor?_

_Michael – he decided to join Mary and Chuck in nursing, which in a way makes for an interesting family reunion in the staff room. I don’t know what that means but apparently it’s a joke that happens a lot; maybe because Michael’s adopted? I think that’s it. I don’t understand some people. They’ll try and make anything funny – like rape jokes. Those aren’t funny._

_And me?_

_After eight hours of surgery and years of vocal training...I can talk._

_I can talk._

_Sign language still comes in handy, especially when I want to talk privately with people like Gabriel, Michael, and Dean in public. But that’s more of like a secret language thing now. I like being able to use the phone and talk to people. Business calls were my favourite thing within the first few weeks of work. Then I got fired, so I won’t bother telling you what I did for a living. If you call a part time job a living._

_I know this is all written in a very confusing manner. I’m not a very good writer any more. I’m so used to talking._

_And this is where I want my writing to end._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOW WE'RE DONE


End file.
